The Garden of Grace

This week before class I went to the bookstore at Elmbrook Church, and this book caught my eye and ended up mine. I will admit: I like the title.

What a little gem. Evidently it is the third in a series, so I'll need to look for the others. Simply about quiet times with God, she tells of the rich sweet irreplaceable times available daily with our Savior. Delightful light read with plenty to ponder. Jill Briscoe has a lovely way of writing.

A few quotes that I underlined so far:

When I began, the little red book in my hand was just a little red book. But when I'd finished, the course of my life was set. The secret was mine. The words had become "God's Gold" to me. All that now remained was a lifetime of sitting on the Steps with Him and learning the art of true devotion. p. 12

These were all on one page: page 30:

Jesus didn't do ministry from a distance. He didn't send an angel to redeem the race. He came - IMMANUEL - God with us.

"Our God contracted in a span - incomprehensibly made man." -Charles Wesley.

"God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ." 2 Cor 5:19

"I just had to come," He said. And He came. Our ministry has to be the same. A ministry of presence.

Sunday

I'm relaxed for the first time in about a month. The two youngest and I watched Roman Holiday tonight, and I finally sat through a movie from start to finish. I even cut out quilt squares while we watched, though I have not sewn a stitch. Perhaps tomorrow. It's a simple table runner made out of decorator fabrics. When our Interior Designer at work gets new samples I get the old ones. I have enough for at least 100 table runners...so far.

Tomorrow I am home YET AGAIN, and it is such a treat. I used to always have four day week ends, until about a year and a half ago, and wow...this has made me miss them! But I will be satisfied with one thrown in every month or so.

The winter decor is all in the basement, although not stored away yet. The birdhouses appeared, and everything is dusted and rearranged and vacuumed - it felt so good to be nesting. No matter how much I love my job, I'd still rather be home. Rearranging decor and some furniture is an absolute delight to me - to make a room new. I keep wandering into the family room because I moved a few things and hung some photos - it is delightful. There is truly no place like home.

Nothing much to report. Just wanted to get the new spring blog look done, and say hello. I am enjoying Sabbath rest...

Good night!

Spring

There. A new look for spring. And as I look out the window...it's snowing again. But no more snow on my blog...we're thinking spring.

The zinnia is from my garden last summer. I just LOVE how zinnias' petals start small and grow outward instead of unfurling. There is something so amazing about that to me. They stretch to the sun.

Think Spring!

Maranatha

Finished First Corinthians, which I see to be primarily a plea for unity among believers. Of course I found many sweet nuggets, and added a lot of index cards to my pile to ponder.

1 Corinthians 16:22 contains the word Maranatha, the only time this English version of this Greek word appears in the Bible. In the footnotes to my Bible (which carries no commentary, just useful translation helps) it says "O our Lord come!" What a great response to pretty much any troubling situation. We need the Lord to return in victory, or we need the Lord to show Himself in that particular moment in that particular situation. I love it! Let's all cry MARANATHA!

While seated there pondering Maranatha, this is what tumbled off my pen:

Maranatha is the answer
for every single question
Maranatha is the outcome I desire.
Maranatha - come Lord Jesus
whether to deliver
or to carry me across this current fire.

Maranatha please come quickly
Maranatha is my plea
I know You're here beside me
Make Your presence known to me.

Maranatha Lord my Savior
Deliver me from life or death
Whether coming as Earth's conqueror
or to guide me through this test.

Maranatha is the answer
to every fear I feel
Maranatha my dear Savior
to Your knowing Love I kneel.

Week End!

Hallelujah...it's the week end. And I'm taking a long one - four days...almost. The almost is because I do have to do some work from home today, but I'm HOME. woo hoo!

Last night's class was so amazing, once again, and so I do plan to write up a couple reflections on a couple of different issues. One thing I love is that our professor, a PhD from Marquette University and a Pastor at Elmbrook Church, is SO in tuned to what is important. What is important to him is that this study of God's Word is life changing. His prayers at the beginning and end of each class are so humble and he continually stresses that drawing closer to God is the goal of the class - we are to be changed. It's not about "academics," although the class is academic and intense. I am just so pleasantly surprised by this tone, for the Bible says that knowledge puffs up. I just want to know God better. The yearning is growing.

I am so drawn to the Word right now - it IS changing my whole perspective - a true longing to dig deeper. And the small stuff of life is indeed less important most days.

We got our midterms back - I did well, although there's still room for improvement. Because I am me I want an A, but that may not be possible without quitting my job or my family, neither of which are feasible or preferred. : ) I'm teetering somewhere in the A- range at the moment, which is fabulous and he stated plainly that he is stingy with A's. He expects only a couple in our class of 50. Today's homework is to read 1 and 2 Corinthians (I STILL haven't read them) and somehow I'm not so enthused...so hopefully I'll get an attitude adjustment. I'm all excited about the shorter epistles...but...I will make myself go in order. :)

So, my coffee is brewed, my hot cream is frothed (those tiny hand held $2 gadgets are amazing) and the couch is calling. So is the house - which needs to welcome SPRING in decor and in cleaning. A long walk on this 50 degree day is in order, and I think it's time for a spring trip to Goodwill as well - to get rid of, not to add to, my stuff. There's something about spring that calls for clean surfaces and less clutter. WHEW. Hope my energy holds out. I will cook dinner for my family for the first time in a week too - unless you count Shake n Bake pork chops made at 10 pm for reheating... And the grocery - the cupboards are bare. Yes, I've been on overload - but now a four day week end at HOME. Woo hoo.

Enjoy your Friday. I'll be posting this week end, and hopefully changing the look of my blog. Time to welcome SPRING.

Taking Care

Hello from Algona Iowa! The AmericInn has wireless, so we're in business.

This blog is all about God's amazing care. I sometimes fear writing like this because I so do not want to sound super spiritual. But I am growing in Him, and it is quite something to watch from my perspective.

Yesterday I did not want to leave for Iowa until after church. Truly. Everything in me knew I needed to be there to just soak in the Word, give and receive a few hugs, and sing to my Lord (just as a part of the congregation.) Interesting to think on. A lot of people in my slippers would have thought they needed a morning home. I needed my church family. That's a part of me now - recognizing the necessity of the body of Christ.

My brother Sam is snowed in in Birmingham Alabama. Amazing since it so rarely snows there. And so since he could not fly to Milwaukee, I drove the seven hours alone again. By Sunday, that was sort of an appealing thought. On Friday I would have, and did, say NO WAY to the drive, but by Sunday I was okay with it. In fact, I have learned to relish these long drives alone.

On the way home from church I picked up two Starbucks lattes. One for the drive and one for Monday morning. We four had a nice lunch at a quick Chinese place, and I quickly packed. My assignment for class is to read Romans and 1 and 2 Corinthians, so the first 2 hours of my drive were spent listening to the book of Romans on CD. I replayed parts here and there, and do prefer reading with a pencil in my hand, but this was a great overview.

Stopped in Wisconsin Dells at the Coach outlet. Pearl, my car, pretty much veers there all on her own since I stop there whenever we pass through. A gas station is located nearby, and there is a nice (really nice) restroom in the outlet mall, and well...I do like those Coach purses and accessories. Creature comforts. I have a couple basic favorite purses now, so usually I shop for bargain (which is a very relative term in a Coach outlet) accessories. Anyhow, I enjoyed 30 minutes of walking and browsing. Grace refreshment.

Next I put on Joyce Meyers. Joyce preached at me for about 4 hours over four different CD's. The first two were on "Walking in Love," and the second two on "God Uses Cracked Pots." What an absolute delight. I'm not sure that I agree on every detail of theology with Joyce, but she herself admits to not being theological. Her calling is to teach the gospel in a practical way. And she does. I have the feeling she and I might be best friends. Or, we might drive each other right up a tree...we're both rather strong and opinionated, but we both adore Jesus and are simply attempting to allow Him to use our strength in a positive way. She inspires me because she is so real and honest about herself and her own weaknesses. I can relate.

[aside: When I grow up I want to be a combination of Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Joyce Meyer. More than anything I would love to do what they do: travel and teach women the Word. And write. And study. Whew. Sign me up.

And do you know the amazing thing? Each of these three women have amazing testimonies of pain in their past. Kay of promiscuity and a failed and painful marriage, Beth and Joyce of childhood trauma and abuse. And how God is using them now! Gives me hope. The pain of my past and my present will be redeemed - it is molding me into a person He can use.]

Back to the trip... stopped again in Austin, Minnesota at WalMart. Bought index cards and a very fine tipped scrapbooking pen. Found the most delightful small photo albums, too. Also bought the Joyce Meyer Study Bible. She uses the Amplified Version, and I'm thinking this might be a great addition to my reading. The key words are amplified...about 4 or 5 synonyms are there in the text...the different options of what the Greek or Hebrew might mean. Anyhow, I saw it in hardcover at a discount and thought I'd give it a try. And Grape Propel, my beverage of choice. Have I ever blogged that before? I LOVE Grape Propel.

Another two hours and I was at my aunt's home. It was full to overflowing with their five combined sons, along with their wives and children. The viewing was over and they were eating and reminiscing. LOTS of hugs. LOTS. All are appreciative of my traveling there twice in two weeks, and of my singing. Family. Sigh. I rarely think of all this family I have out here in Iowa - cousins and the such. Blessed.

My uncle's second to last day was a good one. When his youngest son, Mark, had remarked that Herb was doing well, Herb's remark had been, (in his huge bass voice) "I am...I'm one day closer to Jesus." And when Mark said goodbye and he'd see him soon, Herb's last words to his youngest son were: "If not this week end, then on the other side." WOO HOO. THAT'S how to die in Christ. On Thursday, the day before he died, he was in deep pain, and heavily medicated. All they could hear was a murmer of "Thank you Jesus," and Herb singing hymns and reciting Scripture. He was not conscious at all that day, but they could hear whispers of his groanings.

Oh Lord may I die so bravely and in Your arms. Whew.

I snuck away from the reunion fairly quickly, anxious to get to the hotel. I upgraded my room to one with a whirlpool, figuring this small indulgence ($25) had been well earned this week. I set out all my books, and quickly filled the tub. What an absolute delight. Pictures show the waterfall like cascade of water from the faucet. The whole hotel is brand new - has that drywall and paint smell. The whirlpool is right in the bedroom, with a great overhead heat fan for white noise, and a dimmer light. I had brought a tiny scented candle. I sunk in, turned on the jets and finally just relaxed. God is so very good to me.

However...I wanted to read the Word, explore my new Bible and write out verse cards for Juniece, so my bath was just 30 minutes or so. Not so good at fully relaxing it seems.

Over the last months I have sent June many cards, and into them I put an index card with a handwritten Bible verse on it. (this is something I do all the time, and have zillions of verse cards of my own too...although I often give them away...) When I was in her home a couple weeks ago I saw them, only them, on her fridge. She and I had had one Bible discussion on prayer, and I had written more verse cards for her then. She was so appreciative, and gave me such sincere encouragement: She said to me, "You make it [the Word] come alive." Pure joy fills me at that thought.

And so the photos show her little album, into which I am putting verses of comfort and hope. The cover simply says "hope." The intent is that she can keep it with her in the painful days ahead and find comfort in His Word. Her best friend, her sister, died in November. Her second son of three died in January. And now her husband of 33 years (second marriage - both previously widowed) is in heaven. June has a lot of grieving ahead of her this spring.




And here I am. Unfortunately I awoke at 5:45 (sigh) but that allowed me some guitar time (very quietly!) and a long soak in that heavenly tub. As I sat in the whirling hot water this morning, sipping a hot (reheated) Starbucks latte by candlelight, I was overcome with the blessings that God has poured out in this difficult time.

I am weary, my head has a bit of post cold heaviness (hopefully not the start of another) and the day will once again be emotionally draining. But in the middle of this intense couple of weeks I've had 15 hours of pure rest and refreshment.

Joyce and 1 & 2 Corinthians will accompany me home this afternoon, so the seven hours ahead will be blessed.

He is sustaining me. I appreciate your prayers. God gives us all the strength we need to do exactly what He has planned for us. He cares for us so tenderly. Amen.

Rough Week

It's been a rough week.

Huge project due last Monday, but I wanted Monday off to study, so I worked on Sunday afternoon.
My husband went out of town for work for the week.

Monday was good - cookie baking and studying. Relaxed yet productive day.

Tuesday we had a management meeting at work - the three owners and me - and the decision was made to downsize. I had to help decide which 7 employees were going to be let go out of our firm of 30. Agony.
I didn't sleep well.

Wednesday I got all the termination papers ready. Since I was at work, I interacted with everyone all day, knowing that on Friday 7 would be gone. It was simply overwhelmingly sad. Began some projects due on Monday the 2nd.
I didn't sleep well.

Thursday I stayed home to study again. My exam covered an unbelievable amount of material - which makes sense at the graduate level. The material is so fabulous, and I know that God had my exam scheduled for the same week as the lay off so that I would be immersed in His Word.
The exam went well. I was so incredibly worked up though. The emotional heaviness mixed with the pressure of studying was very intense.
I didn't sleep well.

Friday was horrid. A group of three. Tears. Disbelief. One person, one-on-one. More tears. (theirs, not mine - I was determined to stay professionally apart) And then another in the afternoon. (He had been out all morning) An all staff meeting to settle everyone's nerves. Stunned disbelief. Our office is like a family.
The pressure began to mount for the two projects due Monday, but my mind was mush. Then the phone rang at work - my dad - his brother, my dear uncle Herb, had died. More tears. My dad's.

I drove home in silence. No one was home. 45 minutes later I was still on the couch, still in my coat, petting the dog and crying in the dark. The whole week of pressure poured out.

My husband got home about 7:30. We went for pizza, debriefed a bit, and I went to bed. I still didn't sleep well.

Today, amazingly, I awoke refreshed. Bible Study this morning, followed by worship music - practicing to lead worship with my guitar next week. Then to work. Worked 5hours in order to get Monday's projects done - so I can head back to Iowa for the funeral.

My brother is flying in from Alabama, and we'll drive together tomorrow, just the two of us. My brother from Minneapolis will meet us there, where he and I will sing at the funeral. My aunt has lost her son, her sister and her husband in the period of 3 months. Unbelievable.

And so...the blog is a bit quiet. I'll be back. But for now I am processing.

God is on His Throne. He is in control. I rest in Him.

We interrupt this study of Gnoticism...

One can only study for so many hours straight. I've enjoyed my day home, puttering around the house a bit, yet mostly curled up with some good books and a mid-term study guide graciously provided by our professor. It is one page delineating what we should know, and it is quite capable of bringing on heart palpitations. [baby steps, Grace, memorize one thing at a time...]

Around 2 I decided to make tonight's casserole, taking a break from memorizing terms about the first century Roman empire. Once those dishes were done I thought that since I seem to so rarely be home a whole day maybe I should spoil the kids with some home made cookies. (this tender motherly thought just barely covers the blatent procastination involved, eh?) Recently I had seen a recipe here at a blog I've enjoyed entitled "A Work of Heart."

I made those cookies, using the exact recipe except: I had minced pecans so I used those rather than chopped; I ran out of oatmeal, so finished the 2.5 cups with about half steel cut oats (thereby doubling the cost of each cookie); and I had leftover Christmas M&M's, so I subbed those for the chocolate chips. When the recipe called for a two inch ice cream scoop, I will admit, I doubted. In fact I took the first batch out of the oven half way through and squashed them, but that was not necessary...I'm now a believer.

These are some of the best cookies I have ever had. Really. And it is great to make four cookies in one scoop - a lot less puttering.

For the photo below I put a regular sandwich cookie on the rack for comparison sake. Yes, these cookies are large. One just fits in a ziploc sandwich bag - perfect lunch treat. (or, perfect lunch)



Jake's first reaction when he walked in the kitchen?

"WHOA!"
That's all I needed - my mother's heart is full.
Now, back to Gnosticism...

Blessed

Well, just when I was going to find a photo of a crocus or something, we've got a big snowstorm, and the photo on my blog is just what I see out my kithen window. So...the photo stays.

I'm holed up studying. Until next Thursday. Well...I might take a few breathers for important stuff like sleep, church and work. But that's about it.

And just now, as I was reading about "John's Contribution according to Carson and Moo," (the gospel of John and what it contributes as compared to the three other gospels, according to two theologians who wrote the text book) it just swept over me how blessed I am.

I'm very much under pressure (self pressure) to study A LOT between now and my midterm...don't get me wrong. This is intense. But I LOVE the subject matter. It is hard to explain how I love HAVING to study Scripture and about Scripture. I had considered getting an MBA, since Business Administration is indeed what I do, but there would be no passion in that. I am passionate about God's Word. And I am simply a bit overwhelmed with the privilege of digging in this deep.

Later today I will take a study break and write what our professor shared about John 15 this past Thursday night. It's amazing. Check back HERE and I will link the post when it's done.

Still battling a cold. Ventured to the grocery, and now I'm "in" until church tomorrow. I'm guessing we have 5 inches of snow so far, and it's still a blowin' and snowin'. It's a good day to brew a pot of decaf, snuggle up in a quilt and read theology textbooks. I know, I'm a Bible Geek. (Kathi named me that I think...) But honestly, I am so thankful that this is how I spend my hours. It is such a blessing.

Still Kickin'

I'm too tired to write.
But
I am alive.

Two trips in two week ends - about did me in. Michigan was all work. Iowa was part work and part farewell to a dear old uncle. Emotionally draining but wonderful.

A bad cold is lingering. My head is under water.

Class tonight was inspiring. Our midterm is next week...yipes.

Work is crazy busy. Intensely writing proposals all day...my eyes have computer strain. (is that a real disease yet?) Perhaps that is why I'm not inspired to write here...wrote all day and took notes all evening.

Not complaining...just telling...that...I'm pooped.

So...goodnight!

PS On all those driving miles I've been listening to Joyce Meyer CD's and she is AWESOME and speaking right to me. Whew.

Iowa bound

After I sing at a wedding vow renewal in the early afternoon, I am off to Iowa. The trip is spur of the moment due to my dear uncle's failing health. This week end is the only one in the foreseeable future that could work...so off I go. Thankfully I was able to schedule a work appointment with a potential client in Dubuque, so Monday's trip home won't require vacation or unpaid hours. And after Dubuque I will stop in Madison to see our oldest and take the poor starving boy out for dinner.

I'm singing in the nursing home tomorrow afternoon at their church service. Interesting ways in which I am asked to minister - from still blooming love to easing last days.

I'm looking forward to getting caught up on my podcasts on the 14 hours in the car. And I'll be listening to Luke and John - the gospels. I'm way behind on my reading. Skimming scripture is a very tough assignment for me.

Happy Valentine's Day. My hope is that each of you knows you are loved.

Happy Valentine's Day

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.

-- Victor Hugo

Learning

As you might know, I am taking a 4 credit Introduction to New Testament class this spring semester. It's the first 4 credits of 40 plus needed for my Masters Degree.

We are assigned a boatload of homework which we type up and email to the professor.

Since some of my homework assignments are so incredibly rich, I thought some of you might like to read some of them...and yet it's a bit too "heavy" to add them all here - that's not the point of this blog.

So... I have a new blog - just for homework assignments. When they make sense on their own I'll copy and paste my homework questions and answers to www.gracestudies.blogspot.com

The first one is The Passion.

So, feel free to read and grow right alongside me.

My quiet time reflections and photos and life stuff will still be here on gracenotes.

Good night!

I want to...

Emily Update

Although my upcoming adventures are fun to anticipate, they are not quite as exciting as our Emily's plans. This email was so breathless I just had to share part of it.

Hola! I had such an amazing weekend in Granada! We toured the Alhambra (one of the 7 wonders of the world, an Arabic palace..SO cool!) Then on Saturday we took the bus up to the Sierra Nevada mountains! It was so beautiful, and it was snowing, which was fun...it reminded me of home

I’m pretty sure that over Semana Santa (spring break) I’m going to MOROCCO! There is a trip through a travel agency for students (that my school recommends), and it sounds so awesome. We take a ferry over to Africa, spend a day on the coast (beach), then go to the jungle for a day (monkeys!) , then a day in the mountains, and then we’re going camping in the Sahara desert at a campsite that is only reachable by camel! So I get to ride a camel and then watch the sunrise over the Sahara desert!

Isn't that just simply amazing?

Colorado! Florida!

Pocket of Joy ONE! Today a coworker and I made our plane reservations to head to Colorado Springs at the end of May. There's a conference that he is presenting at, and I am the queen of networking so I get to go along. Woo hoo. And we're staying at The Broadmoor which is a FIVE star hotel. Double Woo Hoo.

Our industry is a bit depressed right now (architecture) so my job is VERY busy and relatively stressful. (I'm the one who LOOKS for work...) So what FUN to look forward to a perk like this. We're even going to stay an extra day to explore around the mountains.

Pocket of Joy TWO! My husband is going to Tampa Bay to work during my birthday week, and he's going to buy my ticket as my birthday gift. I'll stay in the hotel and bum around on my own all day, and we'll eat and play in the evenings. (though he usually works late when out of town.) Then we'll stay until Sunday and enjoy an extra lazy pool day on Saturday. What this translates to, as I'm sure you moms have already figured out, is 7 (count them:7) days with no cooking, cleaning, juggling... and most of the hours of those days ALL ALONE with an ocean. WOO HOO. I might need to pay the extra bag charge just for books.

So this evening I am QUITE excited about two trips in the next three months.

It makes the 5 degree temperature just slightly more bearable.

Concrete Thoughts

Just ventured downstairs to take a peek - the men are on lunch break. They've dug a trench at the base of the south wall - step one in seepage repair.
In case you think we have an AWFULLY narrow basement, that wall on the right is the foundation of the two sided free standing fireplace above...



This is what used to be in our basement...


Our 1900 sf ranch home is long and narrow, and the 1900 sf basement is divided in half lengthwise. Thankfully the unfinished side is the side with seepage. The finished side is dry... Guess I should be counting my blessings!

Mental [Health] Monday

Generally I am able to take off on Mondays, and I call them Mental Health Monday MHM. There is something in me that needs to be home ALONE and get sane. I'm nicer on the week end if I can look forward to MHM.

The kids were home from college for 5 Mondays. I can live with that.
Then when Joey (finally) went back to school, Anna had the following Monday off school due to finals week.

So...today...whew. Finally. Except for one small detail...

The basement contractors arrived to solve our seepage issue. Solving the issue involves jack hammers, and large hunks of concrete continuously carried up the stairs to the awaiting dump truck.

This is SO not MHM.

I did go and get a haircut, bought new product (no, the drugstore variety is NOT the same as salon product. If you saw me in the last week, I was LIVING proof!) So, Monday will hold that accomplishment. The laundry is humming. I grocery shopped on Saturday, so cooking is on the agenda this afternoon. This morning I had slotted to study. Which is kinda tough with jack hammers.

It will [eventually] be nice to have the water draining properly through the drain tiles. It is an exceptionally boring way to spend thousands of dollars, though.

We refinanced our house - signed the papers on Saturday - thus reducing our mortgage by 3 years to 15 years, and our interest rate to 4.8something. We both braced ourselves to hear the new (post economic collapse) appraised value, but HALLELUJAH, the appraised value is 20,000 more than we paid just 1.5 years ago. WOO HOO. Location, location, location. The mortgage officer told us ours was the only property she had seen hold its value. So many people paid inflated amounts over the last 5 years...

Back to today...I could go to Barnes & Noble, but I'm afraid Boomer would experience heart failure if I left him alone to deal with these four strange men and that sound.

And so...it's Mental Monday. No *health* involved. Time for a pot of tea, some ear plugs AND the noise machine.(the sound of rain that I put on to mask family noises when I'm sleeping early or late.) And it's 25 degrees which means a walk outdoors with my beloved pup is in order.

Happy Monday everyone. Enjoy some silence on my behalf.

Dreadmill

32 minutes on the dreadmill treadmill this morning. Began "Roman Holiday," another movie starring Audrey Hepburn. The credits say "Introducing Audrey Hepburn," so perhaps this is her first?

Totally adorable. I loved the little fit she had in bed in the beginning. I can SO relate. (not to the "being royalty" part - just the "hissy fit" part) Don't you just have days where you want to do what you WANT to do without adhering to what everyone expects you to do?

Well...I can relate. Maybe I'll go pound on my bed and then sneak out a window.

Class number 3

Wow. That's the summary of tonight's class. Wow.

I can't really summarize 2.5 hours of lecture, but I am SO GLAD the guy next to me has a voice recorder and records it all. Then, amazingly, the recorder (about the size of an ipod nano) has a USB and I can plug it into my laptop and download it after class. So lucky me, I can listen again.

One thing that really struck me was that " The Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized in Jesus Christ." (John 1:17) Our prof was so into this thought he was almost glowing, or close to tears, or something. He pointed out that these twins - grace and truth - are what differentiate us as followers of Christ. So many people err on the side of grace and forget the truth of God's word. But so many err on the side of truth and do not give grace to people. Jesus perfectly embodied both, and both are so necessary in order to draw others to God. He challenged us to see what our bent is, and then to consciously work on incorporating more of the other twin. Jesus is the only one who could work them in perfect harmony, but we can get closer and closer to balance as we draw closer to Him.

This was such a succinct description of what I see all around me. I have friends who tend to hammer things home, and show so little flexibility for the humanity of people. And I have friends who tiptoe all over the place because the truth might offend someone. And then of course there's me. Ironically, Grace's dominant twin is truth, not grace. But as I age this is indeed softening. Perhaps more as I've been taught (the hard way) how weak and susceptible I am. Realizing my own susceptibility allows me to extend so much more grace. And then I can err on the side of fearing that I may offend someone with Truth...sigh... I have a long long way to go to get to any sort of balance.

Well, if I can ever figure out how to express it, I'd LOVE to share the discussion about the Pharisees and the Sadduccees and how we as Christians are still like them in so many ways... but that's for another day.

Whew. I love this class.

He did not have a chance to print out our homework assignment...so...it will be emailed. I am SO disappointed...I'm not kidding...I can't wait to dive back in, and I fear He might not get it emailed out til Monday. Sigh.

For now I will go play one more word in Scrabble on the dreaded Facebook, and then it's time to hit the hay. Thankfully I can sleep in a bit tomorrow. (fabulous flexible job)

G'night!

Facebook

As you know, I'm kind of bored a lot of the time, so I thought I'd open a Facebook page...

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?

Well, actually, HERE is what I was thinking: Emily has a facebook page, and she is uploading photos of Spain to it, and ...I wanted to see those photos...

So I thought I'd just add a teensy bit of information.

Like my high school, college, a photo of me.

WELL. That's when people from my past started crawling out of the wood work. I am now in contact with a friend from 10 years ago who moved to Colorado, and a couple friends from my high school youth group...one in South Dakota and one in Florida. The whole church has found me, and a few people from our old church.

Then a blogger hoped to see some photos of my family...so I added that album...

Now I found out there is SCRABBLE on facebook. Oh dear. I'm going to have to quit my job.

Or quit sleeping.

Sigh. What a world this is!

By the way, for those of you on the blog AND facebook, please don't post about the blog on there. It's not public, and I don't really want it to be. Thanks.

Beddy Bye

Just a quick HELLO before I'm off to bed.

I had half the day off work today, but somehow it slipped away. Thankfully I've had a very productive few days, and I'm feeling *sort of* sane.

The bedroom is in order. That's a large part of the definition of SANE for me. The desk movement led to the shelf movement which led to the...you get the drift. And pretty soon I had a big pile of displaced STUFF to deal with. Plus my [heavenly]walk in closet looked like a bomb had hit. (I've discovered it's a GREAT spot to hide stuff I don't feel like dealing with...that is until it's no longer "walk in.") Spent an hour on that last night. Today I put away laundry and piles of "basement" and "kitchen," (I put things in piles so I'm not running back and forth dozens of times...but...sometimes the piles grow roots...)Anyhow, the bedroom is sane. A place for everything and everything in its place. My hub is out of town for the week, so that helps...I can sort and pile and work into the night...

Laundry is done AND put away. That's accomplishment.

There's food for the next two evenings already made, and three lunches for each child in the fridge. Woo hoo.

The sink is empty.

My bathroom is clean, as is the kitchen floor, thanks to Anna who was off school today. (and needed money...)

My homework is about 75 percent done. I have to email it by midnight Wednesday. It's 7 pages so far. Two of the questions required 600 word answers. Yipes. Thankfully I am old and wise and started right in on this two week huge assignment. (the prof was on vacation this past week, so we had no class but got MEGA assignments) I'm loving it but whoa...it's a lot of work. I just love the reading though. I'm feeling stretched.

Stopped by the nursing home on my way home from work. That easily falls through the cracks as well, (sigh)so I'm glad I fit it in.

So... life is relatively calm. I'm headed to bed for 7 hours and then I'll be up and at it.

I am thanking God OFTEN for energy and health. Oh...almost forgot to brag that I did 34 minutes on the treadmill today too. Why 34? That's how much time was left in Audry Hepburn's "Sabrina." What a sweet sweet movie, and a lovely way to make exercise time pass quickly. Next up: "Roman Holiday." A tiny 13 inch tv on a bookshelf makes ALL the difference!

Well, g'night! I hope your week is productive as well!

Gifts

At church today a number of ladies thanked me again for my blog, and said they read it often. What fun. I love to write, and this truly has become a challenge for me. And I LOVE challenges.

One dear sister brought me two gifts today. Such a delightful surprise. She and I had discussed her mixed media art before, but I had never seen it. Artful Blogger, the magazine, is full of photos of mixed media art, and what always impresses me is the TIME involved. Being a quilter, and a putzer in other media, I know that creative expression is time consuming. But handmade gifts can't be beat, can they? They are filled with love. The gift of someone's time.

She handed me the first fluff of tissue and said that she knew I was a lover of birds. (indeed!) And inside was this very unique bluebird. Just LOOK at the detail! That nose is hand stitched, and that face is hand painted. The body is fabric...with a feather boa no less. Unbelievable!

The other gift is a papier mache cupcake! Scrabble tiles spell out "WORDS." On the hat is my name on one side , and favorite words, hope and joy, on the other. The details are astonishing.

Two other words are spelled out with baby bracelet beads: lexophile and logophile. Lover of words. Sigh.

Such happy little additions to the decor, and one of a kind unique tokens of affection. She saw the cupcake idea in a magazine, and she spent her time with ME in mind. Isn't that just amazing?

There's not ONE calorie in that cupcake, either. Thank you, Jacqueline!

wordle

There's a website entitled Wordle where you can put in a text, and it creates art from it, with the most used words being the larger ones. You can play with it here.

I copied and pasted Psalm 103, my favorite Psalm, from the new American Standard Version, and this is what I got.


Kinda cool, eh?

Comments...once again

I've removed the little white envelope from each post. You could have used that to forward a blog post to someone's email. Problem is I was getting comments sent via that link...easily confusing.

So...to leave a comment...just click on the blue word *COMMENTS* and type away!

Thanks!

Good Fortune

My fortune cookie held the following today:

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

Be Proactive

Blogging on my lunch hour at work. This morning I've been reviewing my 2008 datebook to make sure I transferred everything necessary. I tend to take a lot of notes in my Fr@nklin C0vey planner, and upgraded for 2009 from two-pages-per-week to one-page-per-day. Keeping track of information is a major part of my work day. I'm in the process of putting together an excel spreadsheet of information - leads, projects, contractors, in-office projects, in-office managers and their projects...blah blah blah. So far the spreadsheet has 11 tabs - and using it for the last 2 months has been SUCH a relief. When someone walks into my office to tell me the latest I open the right part and type it in. I'm tired of the paper trail and the constant search for where I wrote what. And yet I learn by taking notes - that is how I retain information.

I am very organized, by the way. And a perfectionist. So very organized is still not...perfectly organized.

ANYHOW, in last year's date book there is a "Be Proactive" section that I just tore out, and I think I'll play with. It's a couple pages dedicated to helping you identify what is important to you, and then break it down into steps which move you closer to your goal. It's succinct. It's journal -ly. I like it. (It's also blank...never really noticed it before. There's one in this year's datebook as well.) (But perfectionists don't just jump into THIS year's record when they can doodle on last year's...)

The last page is about renewal. "Balance your renewal in the four areas of your life: Physical, Social/Emotional, Mental and Spiritual." Each of the four areas has suggestions for renewal.

I'll post more on this later, but I'm quite pleased to assess that I have attained some balance. I do do the things that are important to me. And I'm learning to say no to what I *could* do but feel no passion about. (IE Just said no to a school committee to organize a golf outing. Could. Do I want to have those meetings on my schedule? Nope.) I was just asked to be on a professional board, and I did not blurt out SURE. I asked, instead, for the complete job description including estimated time commitment each week. I'm learning...slowly. You can't train a people-pleasing extrovert very quickly you know.

I'll write more on this as I putter with it. There's always room for improvement. But at age 45 it's sort of nice to take a moment to evaluate, and to actually see growth. And some semblance of balance. That's a gift I've given myself, and I'm so glad.

Humbled

Do you ever feel used? Or like no one really cares about you, but rather only what you can do for them?

Part of my homework is to read through the Gospel of Mark. So I've been struggling through it. It's a struggle because I am used to chewing on a verse at a time, or maybe a passage, but not on chapters upon chapters. This is very good for me - to see the context - to see it as a whole.

Anyhow, I was just *stung* by some verses in Mark 10. Jesus has chosen 12 disciples, and they have seen Him do amazing things, and He has taught them of God and of God's kingdom. They have the opportunity of the ages - they are walking with the Messiah. Three of them seem especially close to Jesus - James, John and Peter. They get the backstage passes to events like the healing of Jairus' daughter, (Mark 5:37) and the transfiguration. (Mark 9:2) They are the closest of the close. His inner circle.

So here in Chapter 10 Jesus shares with the twelve, as they walk towards Jerusalem, that He is about to be delivered, condemned, handed over, mocked, spit upon, scourged and killed. He must have been agonizing with each step. He was obeying to the point of death, and knowingly walking into the hands of the executioners.

In verse 35, James and John, two of the closest to Him, ask Jesus for a favor. This is DIRECTLY after He has shared His dread. He asks them what they want. And they ask to sit on each side of Him in heaven.

This hit me hard. It stings. Jesus has taught them painstakingly, showed them miracles, given them the power to throw out demons and heal, and now He has shared the sorrow of His heart. And what are they concerned about? Their positions. What's in it for me?!?

And of course, whenever we see stupidity modeled by humans in the Word, we can see how we ourselves might have done the same thing. It's so humbling, isn't it?

Sigh.

Spain Update #1

Received our first email from Emily this morning, and she sounds awfully happy! I hope we get her back some day! I only x'd out her senora's name, and her last paragraph which was full of personal info. Anyhow, here's her update. Since I included you all in the worry part, I thought I should let you know she sounds great.

Hey! I had my first class today! And now I have a break for two hours before my next class..so i'm in "la biblioteca" (library) catching up on email and facebook and uploading my pictures. I'll attach a couple "fotos" for you too :). I am LOVING spain so far! I've met some really cool girls, and we've done a lot of exploring in Sevilla already. One day we toured the Cathedral and the Palace of Alcazar. They were both so beautiful, and I took lots of pictures! This weekend (Friday and Saturday night) I went out to some bars and clubs with friends. It's so weird being old enough to do that! But it was really fun. I had Sangria, which was muy deliciosa, and I talked to a lot of Spanish people. I'm really excited because I met four Christian girls and we had a little Bible study yesterday, since it was Sunday and we couldn't really go to church. It was a beautiful day (60's and sunny) so we met down by the river and just sat in the sun and relaxed and talked most of the afternoon. Then we went to the Plaza for some "helado" (ice cream) which was really good! The Spanish lifestyle is so different here than in the US, and I love it! Everything is so relaxed and everyone is so nice. We eat on a kind of weird schedule too...a tiny breakfast of toast or fruit and coffee at like 9, then we don't eat again until "el almuerzo" at like 2:30 or 3:00, and then "la cena" (dinner) is at 8:30 or 9 pm. It's REALLY important to be home on time for meals because they value meal times with the family so much. Sevilla is known to be an outdoor city, which is really cool, and a lot of families meet at the parks, plazas, or the river for lunch. Around 2:30 or 3:00 the streets and plazas get really busy because the dads come from work to meet the moms and kids for lunch. And the Spanish children are so beautiful! They wear such nice clothes too...little briches and tights and sweaters and peacoats. I love people watching here :) After lunch everyone takes a "siesta" (nap) and all of the stores close for an hour or two. I love siesta because I have time to relax, unwind, read, journal, or whatever. Today I have class until 3:30 so my senora packed me a little "pocadillo" (bag lunch). And by the way, my senora is CRAZY, but really funny. Her name is xx, she's probably about 60, kind of a bigger woman, and really loud and outspoken. And doesn't speak a word of English, which has actually been good because it forces me to speak Spanish and I feel like I'm already learning more.

The Desk

There's still a pile of things to sort as I rearrange the entire bedroom, but here's the desk area so far.

On the wall is an old printer's drawer, filled with rubber stamps. On top is the word "Inspire." Behind the chair is a calligraphy of Proverbs 31.

This is my little corner of the world, filled with creative tools and items which evoke happy memories. I'm loving it.

Comments

A dear friend told me today how much she loves reading my blog. Another asked for the address again cuz she lost it during computer issues. It's quite amazing to think that journaling here instead of on paper can encourage someone else. Do you know that when I am doing things now I'm actually wondering how I can write about it? That is weird, isn't it?

Do you know what feeds bloggers? Comments. Really. And so here I am blatantly asking for you to say HELLO now and then, and tell me what you've enjoyed. I know that I am not alone in this, for I read it all over the blog world. "Will blog for comments."

I'd LOVE to hear from you. I've changed the comment process to make it easier. And you don't need your own google account...just use ANONYMOUS and then sign your first name, or your initials, so I know who you are!

Thank you in advance. (That phrase makes me smirk because my college Writing for Business prof prohibited its use in business letters...)

Seeya.

Just Do It

In cleaning out papers yesterday, part of moving into the desk, I found my personality profile. I am an ESFJ.

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ... ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves, " often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls.

I truly hate to think that I can be so easily classified, but that is SPOT ON. Those words describe me to a T. Love me or leave me.

I am a delegator to the nth degree. But I am also a perfectionist, and THAT is an interesting combination. Take the kitchen cabinets, for example. (stay with me...)

We have old cabinets. I live with 5 slobs people, and so these old cabinets get gooey. I'm afraid to wash them down too much cuz they are...old. I delegate much of the cleaning, and my girls get paid beaucoup bucks to finish my list of chores each week. It works out well both ways - they actually ask for the lists to earn money. They clean quite well, except that everyone seems afraid of the cabinets. Neither girl gets that far on the list. And the goo-iness makes me nutty. The job looks too big. We have a LOT of wood in this house and somehow if I do one area the perfectionist in me thinks I need to continue to completion.

Thus the title. Just do it. Every once in a while I become a white tornado. There is nothing pleasant about it. I just attack, and if you are in my way you will get bleached, cleaned, scrubbed and polished. Best just steer clear. The five I live with know the warning signs. Take cover.

Well, I've been in a cleaning funk. A bit blue. Introspective. I needed a nudge. There is a mess in every direction - one of those kind of moods. So I took yesterday OFF...puttering in my new desk, doing homework, snoozing, reading, watching a movie...that sort of day. It was lingering well into the evening when...

Jake started throwing up. In trying to get to the kitchen sink he managed to throw up ON and IN the cabinets. ewwwwwww. My husband is a really good first responder, so he did the major clean up because truly, I would have been barfing in all the other directions. I had a bad case of the blue funk yesterday, and I don't think I even came to the kitchen. I comforted Jake, and my husband did the mess control. (Which was fine by him, by the way. He knows I am not lazy, and that my part would come...)

Today, after church, the thought of the germs, and what my husband calls clean compared to what I call clean (voila Mrs. Perfectionist) ...well...watch out. The tornado arrived.

The entire kitchen is bleached. I wiped down every cabinet. And then I put on a mega coat of Liquid Gold cleaner and preservative. The wood is gleaming. In fact, I don't think food *could* stick to my cabinets at the moment...it would slide right off. I bleached the knife block as that was hit DEAD ON in my son's eruption. I crawled under the sink and organized and cleaned all surfaces. For some odd reason I cleaned out the pantry, even though that is no where near the target zone. Like I said...tornado.

Do you know how long it took me? About 1.5 hours. I have fretted about those cabinets for 10 hours. I have begged and bribed my girls to do them for at least 2 hours. I have been bothered by them for days at a time. 1.5 hours.

Just do it. That's today's challenge. Find something that is bugging you, and, just DO it.

Oh...I also put out the valentine placemats on the sparkly clean glass table. Why? Cuz I'm the guardian of holidays and traditions...see above.

Pray for these Babies

Two bloggers have babies in dire need of prayer. No, I don't know either of them in real life. (IRL)

Brayden is here.

Harper is here. Evidently Harper's grandpa is a blogging pastor, and his blog is here.


The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

Snug as a Bug

Quickie post...I'm studying in a quiet house. My hub left to take our oldest son back to college (80 miles) and our younger son went with them. Anna is in the lower level studying for finals, and getting her room set up for the semester. (She shares a large room with Emily, and Emily left a bit of a mess in her wake...)

I am snug as a bug at the desk. In a morning grocery run to a deep discount grocer (getting back to school groceries for Joe) I bought an oscillating ceramic heater (with auto shut off) and six red roses. So now I'm toasty warm, and there is natural beauty and aroma right here next to me. The heater also provides white noise, as Anna's room (and music) is directly below.

It's all the way up to 19 degrees today, but it's still nice to be toasty here in my quiet place.

My Daddy's Desk

Our bedroom used to be two bedrooms, but the former owner recently tore down the dividing wall and converted it to a master suite. One side has the bed and had the dressers. They moved tonight. One side has a small entertainment center, some bookshelves, and had the loveseat. That moved tonight too. The rearrangement made room for...my daddy's desk.

I'm not sure when my dad bought this desk, but I remember it as far back as Winnipeg. We moved from there in 1973. It is not fancy, but it is well made, and it is deep. On the side I'm seated at, there are three drawers to my right and four to my left. On the other side there is also a spot for a chair with bookshelves on each side. I've never seen another desk like it. Ever. Two people could sit here facing each other.

Considering how well travelled it is, it's in pretty good shape. The worn surface is my favorite part. On this side, right under where my laptop is sitting now, the finish is worn away in one 6 by 12 inch area. That is the place where my dad wrote his sermons. For years. 20 years? 30 years? He was a preacher for over 50...

That worn area and the double sided-ness of it have endeared this desk to me. Tonight it has been moved into the place where the loveseat was. I need a place to read, write, type and maintain a study center. The bedroom is the logical place - away from the hub bub of the family, allowing them free reign over the rest of the house when I'm in the homework mode.

I'll add photos to this blog post once I get the place back in order. (it's currently a bit upside down.) For now I'm going to read a bit, move in some pens and pencils, and perhaps just sit and rub the surface.

My dad would have never guessed that his baby girl would be studying for her degree in Biblical studies decades after he labored over the Word on this very surface. I'm thinking it would have made him beam ear to ear. I'm excited to tell him about it.

There's history in this desk. This feels right.

Just One in the Crowd

According to the stats on Living Proof Ministries blog, Zephaniah 3:17 was the most chosen verse for the Bible memorization program. Wow. I'm so trendy. (see here)

I have not read the long long list at that site, but what a treasure of Bible verses are listed there. Need a quick devotional? Read those precious treasures.

For the second half of January 2009 I choose to memorize:

Psalm 27: 13 & 14 NASB

I would have despaired unless I had believed

that I would see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the LORD.

Friday

It's negative 15 degrees. 9:40 am. Likely it was colder earlier.

Hot shower with the bathroom heat lamp on, extra layers of clothes, warm coffee, and about to sit in the sun drenched south facing living room.

Unfortunately I have lunch with a client at noon. I will have to emerge from our home in less than two hours.

How long does one warm the car when it's negative 15? Should I start it NOW?!?!

Thank you Lord for a warm home, for electricity and gas, and for a reliable auto. Thank you for the security of a cell phone as I venture out. Thank you that school was cancelled and the kiddos are all snug in their beds.

We are so blessed!

Emily Update

When Emily did not call when I knew she should have landed in Madrid, it got me thinking on how out of my control her travel situation is. I am used to instant communication. Being a technology savvy mom - I text. She and I are not in constant communication by any stretch, but we *could* be.

Her cell phone does not work in Spain. Her laptop was tucked away in her backpack, and I knew that it was not going to come out along the way. And so...hmmmm...I just had to wait.

She finally did call. It had taken a while to get her luggage, and then to figure out where Iberia airlines is in the Madrid terminal, having flown in on US Air and needing to recheck her luggage for the next leg. It all took time, and then she had to conquer her first ever pay phone calling card call. All those numbers and codes!

She hung up minutes later, very tired, but needing to stay awake one more hour to ensure not missing her flight to Seville. She'd call upon arrival.

I wondered why she did not call during the afternoon yesterday. By evening I was fretting a bit. By this morning I was considering calling her university. And then she called. She had had a 10 hour lay over in Madrid. I didn't quite follow why...I was too relieved to just hear her voice. She told me that in the airport she had met another American girl and they seem to have become friends. That girl is also in Seville for the semester, and as it turns out is staying in the apartment across the street from Emily. Amazing.

She is on the 7th floor of a rather "dingy" place. There is no phone, no internet and no hot water. What?!? She said that the shower is literally a smallish tub with a hand held sprayer with which to rinse with tepid water. This actually makes me smile (don't tell Emily) because Emily takes the longest steamiest showers that you can imagine. (God does indeed have a sense of humor!) But she said she LOVES the old city, the windy cobblestone streets, and the adventure that lays before her.

Thank you Lord for bringing her safely to Seville. Thank you for phone cards. And thank you for the long hot shower that is available in the next room whenever I want it. Amen.

Thinking

It feels so good to be thinking.

Class two in Introduction to New Testament tonight. The 2.5 hours just fly by. My pen is going the entire time as I soak it all in through notes. The fellow next to me has an incredible little recorder - no bigger than an ipod - through which he records the lecture, and tonight I was able to instantly transfer it to my laptop from this device. Now I have an audio recording of the lectures for review. Amazing technology. Even with the recording to review, my brain needs pen and paper - it's how I learn. I listen, I write, I learn.

I wondered if I'd regret this new step ...this journey to a Master's Degree. Too much pressure? One more thing on the schedule?

Perhaps it is too soon to evaluate, but I will anyhow. :) I am RIGHT where I need to be. God gave me a mind that needs a challenge. I have an insatiable desire to learn. And I wonder where this degree will lead me...and that excites me. It gives me hope for something new in the future: for what is God preparing me?

You know how I really know I'm in the right place? I got home tonight, put on my jammies, made a hot cup of tea, and here I am curled up under a quilt. Before I go to bed I'm going to read over the homework questions, map out my reading, and read at least a bit of it. There is NO desire for tv, no desire for a magazine or a novel...I just want to get to it! I went from work to class to home...but what I want to do in this half hour before bed is delve right in. (after checking out the blog world, of course...)

I think I'm in the right place.

You think this is cold?

The current temperature is 2 degrees. School has been cancelled for tomorrow due to dangerous cold conditions. The high tomorrow is forecast to -5 and the low at -14. That is serious cold.

However...

I grew up in Winnipeg, Canada, so I looked up their temperature today: negative 35.9 degrees Celsius. That translates to negative 32.6 F. WHEW.

Everything is relative...

Cookin'

Having an insatiable appetite for Buffalo Wings, tonight I made this recipe from the Pioneer Woman. If you haven't seen her cooking blog, YOU are MISSING OUT. She takes so many photos as she is cooking that it is really hard to mess up. This is the second time I've made these wings. On a cold cold Wisconsin night (currently 5 degrees) it's good to be warmed by dinner.

And since the prep is a bit putzier than I'm used to, I brought my laptop into the kitchen, set it on the counter, and let Joyce Meyer preach at me. I was listening to "Habits that will change your Life, part 5" (podcast) and it is EXCELLENT. She really gets to the meat of things, telling us how much energy it takes to fight the Holy Spirit's nudging, and that we NEVER win so we might as well just GIVE IN. I especially heard her tell of the habit of forgiving people for small grievances. I've felt the weight of unforgiveness, and I can SEE the weight of it in others. (sometimes it's easier to see it in others...just gotta remember to apply it to me) You can listen to Joyce here. Today's radio show is on forgiveness...haven't listened to it yet. *** Once on her site, you'll have to go onto radio podcasts to figure out how to listen to back episodes. You need not have an ipod... just download an itunes player on your computer, and load the podcasts there. (this is not a complete discussion...sorry)

PS Ha...just did a spell check and spelled it u-n-f-o-r-g-i-v-e-m-e-s-s. Hmmmm. You trying to tell me something, God?

*** Have listened to today's radio show now. WHEW. It is such an applicable message on forgiveness. How easy it is to hold small grievances within us. To be so easily annoyed, and then hold on to it ...LISTEN here. (1/13/09 broadcast: The Benefit of Forgiving Others, Part 2)

And she's off!

A last Starbucks with mom...




And into the line for security. Adios Emily! Dios te bendiga!!

Mixed Emotions

Our 19 year old daughter Emily is flying to Spain today. She'll fly into Madrid, and catch a connecting flight to Seville.

I am full of mixed emotions. I am so excited for her to have this opportunity. What an incredible experience - the chance of a lifetime. And yet... Tears are just under the surface. I'm a bit apprehensive about her flights and safety, and am beginning to realize that four months is a pretty long time. When she was going to her college campus, three hours away, that was one thing. She and I are both independent, so we touched base now and then but we made the separation pretty well. But this separation - I can't go for an overnight if something comes up. And if she's sick...well...she's on her own!

Thankfully I know that her Heavenly Father speaks Spanish fluently, and is as fully cognizant of her every move there as He is here. She is in His very capable hands, and that comforts this mother's heart.

A Moment in the Nursing Home

This video is...bumbling. My sister in law is filming for the first time (ever) on her little digital camera, and we are at my dad's nursing home, in the atrium. The first song doesn't work, and I can't find the chords to the second one...and yet...there is something sweet about this few minutes. (hang tight through that first minute!!)

My brother is 17 years older than I am, and we've become quite close, especially in the past 7 years as my parents have deteriorated and have needed to be moved into progressively more care. My mom is in heaven now, and my dad lives about 5 minutes from our home. There is NOTHING on earth he enjoys more than his children and grandchildren.

Although amateur, this video is precious to me, and will be even more so someday. My brother nuzzling me, our instant harmony, and the smile my dad gives the camera right in the middle.

Sweet, everyday moments.

Taking Down Christmas Decor...

Boxing Up Christmas

The wrappings are opened,

the cookies are gone,

the celebration has come to an end.

I'm here with my coffee,

my Bible, my pen

here to meet with my Friend.

He is not over

the Reason remains

He is born, He is risen, He's here.

We'll walk hand in hand

as we watch and we pray

and enter this sparkling New Year.

Friendship

Two of my SAMBS (Saturday a.m. Bible Study) gals just left. At 12:15 pm. We begin at 7:30 each Saturday, and usually end about 9 am. But today these two lingered, so I made some bacon, toast and eggs, and we sat eating, laughing, sharing, crying, griping, and laughing some more.

Part of me is thinking I HAVE SO STINKING MUCH TO DO TODAY...THERE IS NOT TIME FOR THIS. And part of me is feeling like they blessed my socks off.

These 6 gals are my sisters. We truly love each other warts and all. In fact I have not brushed my hair or changed out of my jammies yet...I do brush my teeth for study...

What a gift. To heck with the schedule. We need each other.

First Class!

Yeah. I loved it.

We discussed Revelation 3, and then our professor pointed out how we had been spoon fed some of our interpretations. He took us into a Bible Dictionary to study on the history and geography of the city of Laodicea and then went over how to analyze Scripture with the who, what, how, when, kind of questions. (Kay Arthur would have been proud!)

We discussed the importance of context, and he stressed again and again to read the text and study the text and only then, much later, to read the notes in those study Bibles we all have. He wants us to think it through for ourselves. (This is also a mantra of Precepts...the way I've been trained...I think I'm way ahead in that respect!)

Biblical Theology v. Historical Theology v. Systematic Theology v. Practical Theology. Yet another discussion of definitions.

And we ended with the beginning of a two week discussion on the religious backdrop of the New Testament in the first century. He talked a lot about gnosticism.

Homework? Only 3 chapters of one of the books. Plus questions. We have to email him the answers to 5 questions before the next class. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Well, here's the first (just the first of five) question:

1. How would you counteract or support the idea that God is transcendent from the Scriptures? How would you counteract or support the idea that God is impassible from the Scriptures? Where do you see either of these two concepts expressed inappropriately in church? Are there any appropriate expressions of these?

WHEW. He said our Question Assignments will be wrestling, thinking kind of assignments...he wants to see that we are thinking, not just reading and memorizing.

Sigh...no flash cards?

Oh...we're also supposed to read Mark. I have the feeling the discussion of the historical context of Mark will require some flashcards.

About 45 students. Most of them are "auditing" the class. I knew two people which amazed me.

I love being back in school! Especially since I'm studying a topic that excites me in a way that no college class ever excited me in my undergrad. I'm ready to do my reading right now...but...I best sleep since I have to work tomorrow...

Friday night will be spent researching Alexander the Great, the Roman Empire, Gnosticism and Koine Greek. Woo hoo.

Good night!

Words words words

Still working on the master bedroom. Since getting the door on the wall, we've added some pillows to match the comforter, and now some words.

Peel-off/stick-on stickers. So simple. So lovely.



-

Back to School

Class starts tomorrow. Introduction to the New Testament. It's my FIRST class towards my Master's degree. I am so excited.

The three required texts are stacked, with a notebook, (a fun one, of course) and a brand new pack of Pilot Easy Touch pens in five fabulous colors. The Precepts logo you see is on my Precepts Inductive Bible Study book bag which I'll pack up for class. (this isn't Precepts, but I love the bag!)

I'm ready!

Practicing...

The new song I blogged about a few posts ago has stuck with me. I found the chords for it, and am practicing to sing it at church on Sunday. I just videoed myself...well...all you get to see is a bit of guitar...but you can hear the song, grace-style.

Still needs some tweaking, and my Sony Cyber shot is not a video camera...but with all those caveats...here I am...

I really LOVE this song.

If you listen carefully you'll hear Boomer - especially at one point when he came right up to me and shook - adding percussion with his jingling collar. Ha.

Miracles

Those of you who don't know me IRL are going to think I'm bragging. Those of you who know me IRL, especially for more than a couple years, are going to know that I simply stand amazed.

Our 19 year old, Emily, the writer of the infamous list, went to TCX last week. There she decided that she really wants to work at a Christian camp for summer 2009 so that she can grow in her faith. (!!!) So she is busy filling out detailed applications.

She just told me, "One of them asked who I considered to be my role model. I wrote a page about how I admire and want to be like my mom."

Do I hear gasps? Oh...maybe those are mine. I am speechless. (I can still type) I asked her for a copy, and she laughed as she said no, but it touches me that she even told me about it. Pocket of Joy. Huge huge pocket of joy. Thank you Lord!

Miracles really do happen. Watch expectantly.

There's a wave that's crashing over me...

A friend came over on the 2nd, needing a warm hug and a listening ear. She called from work and asked if I had time. What an honor.

During our discussion, she brought up the song "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real and explained how it had ministered to her. We downloaded it on Itunes right then and there, and listened to it together.

It sort of turned me upside down.

It depicts the human condition...needing to come clean before God. And it depicts hope...when God asks me to make changes, I trust that He is up to something heavenly.

But the line that I most relate to is the line in my title. In the last few days, a wave of God is truly crashing over me...and all I can do is surrender.

It's time for healing
time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long

Time to make right
what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills

So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything
I surrender...To...(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe

You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life
something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see

This is something bigger than me
Larger than life
something Heavenly Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Brownie Report

Well, the wedding was lovely. And the desserts were divine. Pictured is just one of three tables covered with home baked treats. Even after 260 guests had their fill, there was plenty of dessert left.

I'm exhausted. And I still smell brownies in the air.

The Will of God

Romans 12:1-2 (NASB95)
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

I've read those verses dozens of times. I memorized them in grade school and again in high school. And yet God just pointed out something new to me.

The definition of God's will is right there. I had never noticed it defined so succinctly.

"...the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

I knew that "perfect" likely meant "complete" in the Greek. Here's what I found:

Téleios can be used in a relative or absolute sense (Matt. 5:48; 19:21). God’s perfection is absolute; man’s is relative. The téleios is one who has attained moral maturity, the goal for which he was intended, namely, to be a man obedient in Christ.

Synonym: ártios (739), fitted, complete, perfect; plé̄rēs (4134), complete, full; mestós (3324), full; ámemptos (273), irreproachable, blameless; áptaistos (679), not stumbling, without transgression; holóklēros (3648), entire, whole. Téleios is not to be confused with anamártētos (361), without sin or sinless.

Zodhiates, Spiros: The Complete Word Study Dictionary : New Testament. electronic ed. Chattanooga, TN : AMG Publishers, 2000, c1992, c1993, S. G5046

And so...I'm using the logical part of my self now (fighting emotion):
Who would not want to be exactly in line with God's will, no matter how seemingly attractive the alternatives ...?

God's will: good, acceptable, complete.

It's Time

Joshua 3:5 (NASB95)
Then Joshua said to the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you.”

Do you ever struggle with not wanting to do what God is telling you to do? I find the grey areas to be the toughest. Often times the "big" "clear" boundary lines don't trip me up as much as the little ones. (I'm not at all sure that God differentiates big and little, but I have the feeling we humans can all relate...)

I am ready to see God work in awesome ways, and yet I'm feeling stuck. I am spiritually lethargic. And the only way to move out and move on is to further consecrate myself. And it's going to be painful.

Zechariah 13:9 (NASB95)
“And I will bring the third part through the fire, Refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are My people,’ And they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’ ”

I'm already in the fire, and there's no choice but to submit. What I value most is the crystal clear connection to God which can only be the result of complete obedience. I've been pleading my case long enough. Now it's time to yield. To submit. To obey.

Sigh.

Today's color is chocolate.

The first batch of brownies is in the oven, and the house smells of chocolate.

Tomorrow is the wedding of a dear friends' daughter. The mother of the bride is one of the 7 gals in my Saturday a.m. Bible study (SamBs). Four of us, including the bride's mom, have met together for a good ten years to study the Word weekly. Maybe 15 years. Who knows. The first of our offspring (the seven of us have 19 kids!) is getting married tomorrow. (One other is married and has even provided us with two grandchildren to admire, but she was married before her mom was in SamBs)

ANYHOW...SamBs is baking for the wedding. Evidently it is trendy to have a variety of tea party sized desserts from which the guests choose. This wedding party will have a small layered Tiramisu at the head table, for traditional photos, and the 260 guests will have platters of small desserts.

I'm queen of the glazed brownies. 250 of them. I'll be dreaming in chocolate tonight.

Let's Start Memorizing

Beth Moore is heading up a Bible Memory challenge here.

Even if you don't want to sign up (why wouldn't you?) you can read the comments and thousands of verses chosen for memory. What a treasure trove.

On the 1st and 15th we'll each sign in on her blog with a verse. So, if all goes by plan, I'll have at least 24 verses or passsages committed to memory by 12/31/09. That's a good and attainable goal.

The first verse I've chosen is Zephaniah 3:17 in the New International Version:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Do you have written goals or resolutions this year?

Happy New Year!