Dreadmill

32 minutes on the dreadmill treadmill this morning. Began "Roman Holiday," another movie starring Audrey Hepburn. The credits say "Introducing Audrey Hepburn," so perhaps this is her first?

Totally adorable. I loved the little fit she had in bed in the beginning. I can SO relate. (not to the "being royalty" part - just the "hissy fit" part) Don't you just have days where you want to do what you WANT to do without adhering to what everyone expects you to do?

Well...I can relate. Maybe I'll go pound on my bed and then sneak out a window.

Class number 3

Wow. That's the summary of tonight's class. Wow.

I can't really summarize 2.5 hours of lecture, but I am SO GLAD the guy next to me has a voice recorder and records it all. Then, amazingly, the recorder (about the size of an ipod nano) has a USB and I can plug it into my laptop and download it after class. So lucky me, I can listen again.

One thing that really struck me was that " The Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized in Jesus Christ." (John 1:17) Our prof was so into this thought he was almost glowing, or close to tears, or something. He pointed out that these twins - grace and truth - are what differentiate us as followers of Christ. So many people err on the side of grace and forget the truth of God's word. But so many err on the side of truth and do not give grace to people. Jesus perfectly embodied both, and both are so necessary in order to draw others to God. He challenged us to see what our bent is, and then to consciously work on incorporating more of the other twin. Jesus is the only one who could work them in perfect harmony, but we can get closer and closer to balance as we draw closer to Him.

This was such a succinct description of what I see all around me. I have friends who tend to hammer things home, and show so little flexibility for the humanity of people. And I have friends who tiptoe all over the place because the truth might offend someone. And then of course there's me. Ironically, Grace's dominant twin is truth, not grace. But as I age this is indeed softening. Perhaps more as I've been taught (the hard way) how weak and susceptible I am. Realizing my own susceptibility allows me to extend so much more grace. And then I can err on the side of fearing that I may offend someone with Truth...sigh... I have a long long way to go to get to any sort of balance.

Well, if I can ever figure out how to express it, I'd LOVE to share the discussion about the Pharisees and the Sadduccees and how we as Christians are still like them in so many ways... but that's for another day.

Whew. I love this class.

He did not have a chance to print out our homework assignment...so...it will be emailed. I am SO disappointed...I'm not kidding...I can't wait to dive back in, and I fear He might not get it emailed out til Monday. Sigh.

For now I will go play one more word in Scrabble on the dreaded Facebook, and then it's time to hit the hay. Thankfully I can sleep in a bit tomorrow. (fabulous flexible job)

G'night!

Facebook

As you know, I'm kind of bored a lot of the time, so I thought I'd open a Facebook page...

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?

Well, actually, HERE is what I was thinking: Emily has a facebook page, and she is uploading photos of Spain to it, and ...I wanted to see those photos...

So I thought I'd just add a teensy bit of information.

Like my high school, college, a photo of me.

WELL. That's when people from my past started crawling out of the wood work. I am now in contact with a friend from 10 years ago who moved to Colorado, and a couple friends from my high school youth group...one in South Dakota and one in Florida. The whole church has found me, and a few people from our old church.

Then a blogger hoped to see some photos of my family...so I added that album...

Now I found out there is SCRABBLE on facebook. Oh dear. I'm going to have to quit my job.

Or quit sleeping.

Sigh. What a world this is!

By the way, for those of you on the blog AND facebook, please don't post about the blog on there. It's not public, and I don't really want it to be. Thanks.

Beddy Bye

Just a quick HELLO before I'm off to bed.

I had half the day off work today, but somehow it slipped away. Thankfully I've had a very productive few days, and I'm feeling *sort of* sane.

The bedroom is in order. That's a large part of the definition of SANE for me. The desk movement led to the shelf movement which led to the...you get the drift. And pretty soon I had a big pile of displaced STUFF to deal with. Plus my [heavenly]walk in closet looked like a bomb had hit. (I've discovered it's a GREAT spot to hide stuff I don't feel like dealing with...that is until it's no longer "walk in.") Spent an hour on that last night. Today I put away laundry and piles of "basement" and "kitchen," (I put things in piles so I'm not running back and forth dozens of times...but...sometimes the piles grow roots...)Anyhow, the bedroom is sane. A place for everything and everything in its place. My hub is out of town for the week, so that helps...I can sort and pile and work into the night...

Laundry is done AND put away. That's accomplishment.

There's food for the next two evenings already made, and three lunches for each child in the fridge. Woo hoo.

The sink is empty.

My bathroom is clean, as is the kitchen floor, thanks to Anna who was off school today. (and needed money...)

My homework is about 75 percent done. I have to email it by midnight Wednesday. It's 7 pages so far. Two of the questions required 600 word answers. Yipes. Thankfully I am old and wise and started right in on this two week huge assignment. (the prof was on vacation this past week, so we had no class but got MEGA assignments) I'm loving it but whoa...it's a lot of work. I just love the reading though. I'm feeling stretched.

Stopped by the nursing home on my way home from work. That easily falls through the cracks as well, (sigh)so I'm glad I fit it in.

So... life is relatively calm. I'm headed to bed for 7 hours and then I'll be up and at it.

I am thanking God OFTEN for energy and health. Oh...almost forgot to brag that I did 34 minutes on the treadmill today too. Why 34? That's how much time was left in Audry Hepburn's "Sabrina." What a sweet sweet movie, and a lovely way to make exercise time pass quickly. Next up: "Roman Holiday." A tiny 13 inch tv on a bookshelf makes ALL the difference!

Well, g'night! I hope your week is productive as well!

Gifts

At church today a number of ladies thanked me again for my blog, and said they read it often. What fun. I love to write, and this truly has become a challenge for me. And I LOVE challenges.

One dear sister brought me two gifts today. Such a delightful surprise. She and I had discussed her mixed media art before, but I had never seen it. Artful Blogger, the magazine, is full of photos of mixed media art, and what always impresses me is the TIME involved. Being a quilter, and a putzer in other media, I know that creative expression is time consuming. But handmade gifts can't be beat, can they? They are filled with love. The gift of someone's time.

She handed me the first fluff of tissue and said that she knew I was a lover of birds. (indeed!) And inside was this very unique bluebird. Just LOOK at the detail! That nose is hand stitched, and that face is hand painted. The body is fabric...with a feather boa no less. Unbelievable!

The other gift is a papier mache cupcake! Scrabble tiles spell out "WORDS." On the hat is my name on one side , and favorite words, hope and joy, on the other. The details are astonishing.

Two other words are spelled out with baby bracelet beads: lexophile and logophile. Lover of words. Sigh.

Such happy little additions to the decor, and one of a kind unique tokens of affection. She saw the cupcake idea in a magazine, and she spent her time with ME in mind. Isn't that just amazing?

There's not ONE calorie in that cupcake, either. Thank you, Jacqueline!

wordle

There's a website entitled Wordle where you can put in a text, and it creates art from it, with the most used words being the larger ones. You can play with it here.

I copied and pasted Psalm 103, my favorite Psalm, from the new American Standard Version, and this is what I got.


Kinda cool, eh?

Comments...once again

I've removed the little white envelope from each post. You could have used that to forward a blog post to someone's email. Problem is I was getting comments sent via that link...easily confusing.

So...to leave a comment...just click on the blue word *COMMENTS* and type away!

Thanks!

Good Fortune

My fortune cookie held the following today:

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

Be Proactive

Blogging on my lunch hour at work. This morning I've been reviewing my 2008 datebook to make sure I transferred everything necessary. I tend to take a lot of notes in my Fr@nklin C0vey planner, and upgraded for 2009 from two-pages-per-week to one-page-per-day. Keeping track of information is a major part of my work day. I'm in the process of putting together an excel spreadsheet of information - leads, projects, contractors, in-office projects, in-office managers and their projects...blah blah blah. So far the spreadsheet has 11 tabs - and using it for the last 2 months has been SUCH a relief. When someone walks into my office to tell me the latest I open the right part and type it in. I'm tired of the paper trail and the constant search for where I wrote what. And yet I learn by taking notes - that is how I retain information.

I am very organized, by the way. And a perfectionist. So very organized is still not...perfectly organized.

ANYHOW, in last year's date book there is a "Be Proactive" section that I just tore out, and I think I'll play with. It's a couple pages dedicated to helping you identify what is important to you, and then break it down into steps which move you closer to your goal. It's succinct. It's journal -ly. I like it. (It's also blank...never really noticed it before. There's one in this year's datebook as well.) (But perfectionists don't just jump into THIS year's record when they can doodle on last year's...)

The last page is about renewal. "Balance your renewal in the four areas of your life: Physical, Social/Emotional, Mental and Spiritual." Each of the four areas has suggestions for renewal.

I'll post more on this later, but I'm quite pleased to assess that I have attained some balance. I do do the things that are important to me. And I'm learning to say no to what I *could* do but feel no passion about. (IE Just said no to a school committee to organize a golf outing. Could. Do I want to have those meetings on my schedule? Nope.) I was just asked to be on a professional board, and I did not blurt out SURE. I asked, instead, for the complete job description including estimated time commitment each week. I'm learning...slowly. You can't train a people-pleasing extrovert very quickly you know.

I'll write more on this as I putter with it. There's always room for improvement. But at age 45 it's sort of nice to take a moment to evaluate, and to actually see growth. And some semblance of balance. That's a gift I've given myself, and I'm so glad.

Humbled

Do you ever feel used? Or like no one really cares about you, but rather only what you can do for them?

Part of my homework is to read through the Gospel of Mark. So I've been struggling through it. It's a struggle because I am used to chewing on a verse at a time, or maybe a passage, but not on chapters upon chapters. This is very good for me - to see the context - to see it as a whole.

Anyhow, I was just *stung* by some verses in Mark 10. Jesus has chosen 12 disciples, and they have seen Him do amazing things, and He has taught them of God and of God's kingdom. They have the opportunity of the ages - they are walking with the Messiah. Three of them seem especially close to Jesus - James, John and Peter. They get the backstage passes to events like the healing of Jairus' daughter, (Mark 5:37) and the transfiguration. (Mark 9:2) They are the closest of the close. His inner circle.

So here in Chapter 10 Jesus shares with the twelve, as they walk towards Jerusalem, that He is about to be delivered, condemned, handed over, mocked, spit upon, scourged and killed. He must have been agonizing with each step. He was obeying to the point of death, and knowingly walking into the hands of the executioners.

In verse 35, James and John, two of the closest to Him, ask Jesus for a favor. This is DIRECTLY after He has shared His dread. He asks them what they want. And they ask to sit on each side of Him in heaven.

This hit me hard. It stings. Jesus has taught them painstakingly, showed them miracles, given them the power to throw out demons and heal, and now He has shared the sorrow of His heart. And what are they concerned about? Their positions. What's in it for me?!?

And of course, whenever we see stupidity modeled by humans in the Word, we can see how we ourselves might have done the same thing. It's so humbling, isn't it?

Sigh.

Spain Update #1

Received our first email from Emily this morning, and she sounds awfully happy! I hope we get her back some day! I only x'd out her senora's name, and her last paragraph which was full of personal info. Anyhow, here's her update. Since I included you all in the worry part, I thought I should let you know she sounds great.

Hey! I had my first class today! And now I have a break for two hours before my next class..so i'm in "la biblioteca" (library) catching up on email and facebook and uploading my pictures. I'll attach a couple "fotos" for you too :). I am LOVING spain so far! I've met some really cool girls, and we've done a lot of exploring in Sevilla already. One day we toured the Cathedral and the Palace of Alcazar. They were both so beautiful, and I took lots of pictures! This weekend (Friday and Saturday night) I went out to some bars and clubs with friends. It's so weird being old enough to do that! But it was really fun. I had Sangria, which was muy deliciosa, and I talked to a lot of Spanish people. I'm really excited because I met four Christian girls and we had a little Bible study yesterday, since it was Sunday and we couldn't really go to church. It was a beautiful day (60's and sunny) so we met down by the river and just sat in the sun and relaxed and talked most of the afternoon. Then we went to the Plaza for some "helado" (ice cream) which was really good! The Spanish lifestyle is so different here than in the US, and I love it! Everything is so relaxed and everyone is so nice. We eat on a kind of weird schedule too...a tiny breakfast of toast or fruit and coffee at like 9, then we don't eat again until "el almuerzo" at like 2:30 or 3:00, and then "la cena" (dinner) is at 8:30 or 9 pm. It's REALLY important to be home on time for meals because they value meal times with the family so much. Sevilla is known to be an outdoor city, which is really cool, and a lot of families meet at the parks, plazas, or the river for lunch. Around 2:30 or 3:00 the streets and plazas get really busy because the dads come from work to meet the moms and kids for lunch. And the Spanish children are so beautiful! They wear such nice clothes too...little briches and tights and sweaters and peacoats. I love people watching here :) After lunch everyone takes a "siesta" (nap) and all of the stores close for an hour or two. I love siesta because I have time to relax, unwind, read, journal, or whatever. Today I have class until 3:30 so my senora packed me a little "pocadillo" (bag lunch). And by the way, my senora is CRAZY, but really funny. Her name is xx, she's probably about 60, kind of a bigger woman, and really loud and outspoken. And doesn't speak a word of English, which has actually been good because it forces me to speak Spanish and I feel like I'm already learning more.

The Desk

There's still a pile of things to sort as I rearrange the entire bedroom, but here's the desk area so far.

On the wall is an old printer's drawer, filled with rubber stamps. On top is the word "Inspire." Behind the chair is a calligraphy of Proverbs 31.

This is my little corner of the world, filled with creative tools and items which evoke happy memories. I'm loving it.

Comments

A dear friend told me today how much she loves reading my blog. Another asked for the address again cuz she lost it during computer issues. It's quite amazing to think that journaling here instead of on paper can encourage someone else. Do you know that when I am doing things now I'm actually wondering how I can write about it? That is weird, isn't it?

Do you know what feeds bloggers? Comments. Really. And so here I am blatantly asking for you to say HELLO now and then, and tell me what you've enjoyed. I know that I am not alone in this, for I read it all over the blog world. "Will blog for comments."

I'd LOVE to hear from you. I've changed the comment process to make it easier. And you don't need your own google account...just use ANONYMOUS and then sign your first name, or your initials, so I know who you are!

Thank you in advance. (That phrase makes me smirk because my college Writing for Business prof prohibited its use in business letters...)

Seeya.

Just Do It

In cleaning out papers yesterday, part of moving into the desk, I found my personality profile. I am an ESFJ.

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ... ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves, " often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls.

I truly hate to think that I can be so easily classified, but that is SPOT ON. Those words describe me to a T. Love me or leave me.

I am a delegator to the nth degree. But I am also a perfectionist, and THAT is an interesting combination. Take the kitchen cabinets, for example. (stay with me...)

We have old cabinets. I live with 5 slobs people, and so these old cabinets get gooey. I'm afraid to wash them down too much cuz they are...old. I delegate much of the cleaning, and my girls get paid beaucoup bucks to finish my list of chores each week. It works out well both ways - they actually ask for the lists to earn money. They clean quite well, except that everyone seems afraid of the cabinets. Neither girl gets that far on the list. And the goo-iness makes me nutty. The job looks too big. We have a LOT of wood in this house and somehow if I do one area the perfectionist in me thinks I need to continue to completion.

Thus the title. Just do it. Every once in a while I become a white tornado. There is nothing pleasant about it. I just attack, and if you are in my way you will get bleached, cleaned, scrubbed and polished. Best just steer clear. The five I live with know the warning signs. Take cover.

Well, I've been in a cleaning funk. A bit blue. Introspective. I needed a nudge. There is a mess in every direction - one of those kind of moods. So I took yesterday OFF...puttering in my new desk, doing homework, snoozing, reading, watching a movie...that sort of day. It was lingering well into the evening when...

Jake started throwing up. In trying to get to the kitchen sink he managed to throw up ON and IN the cabinets. ewwwwwww. My husband is a really good first responder, so he did the major clean up because truly, I would have been barfing in all the other directions. I had a bad case of the blue funk yesterday, and I don't think I even came to the kitchen. I comforted Jake, and my husband did the mess control. (Which was fine by him, by the way. He knows I am not lazy, and that my part would come...)

Today, after church, the thought of the germs, and what my husband calls clean compared to what I call clean (voila Mrs. Perfectionist) ...well...watch out. The tornado arrived.

The entire kitchen is bleached. I wiped down every cabinet. And then I put on a mega coat of Liquid Gold cleaner and preservative. The wood is gleaming. In fact, I don't think food *could* stick to my cabinets at the moment...it would slide right off. I bleached the knife block as that was hit DEAD ON in my son's eruption. I crawled under the sink and organized and cleaned all surfaces. For some odd reason I cleaned out the pantry, even though that is no where near the target zone. Like I said...tornado.

Do you know how long it took me? About 1.5 hours. I have fretted about those cabinets for 10 hours. I have begged and bribed my girls to do them for at least 2 hours. I have been bothered by them for days at a time. 1.5 hours.

Just do it. That's today's challenge. Find something that is bugging you, and, just DO it.

Oh...I also put out the valentine placemats on the sparkly clean glass table. Why? Cuz I'm the guardian of holidays and traditions...see above.

Pray for these Babies

Two bloggers have babies in dire need of prayer. No, I don't know either of them in real life. (IRL)

Brayden is here.

Harper is here. Evidently Harper's grandpa is a blogging pastor, and his blog is here.


The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

Snug as a Bug

Quickie post...I'm studying in a quiet house. My hub left to take our oldest son back to college (80 miles) and our younger son went with them. Anna is in the lower level studying for finals, and getting her room set up for the semester. (She shares a large room with Emily, and Emily left a bit of a mess in her wake...)

I am snug as a bug at the desk. In a morning grocery run to a deep discount grocer (getting back to school groceries for Joe) I bought an oscillating ceramic heater (with auto shut off) and six red roses. So now I'm toasty warm, and there is natural beauty and aroma right here next to me. The heater also provides white noise, as Anna's room (and music) is directly below.

It's all the way up to 19 degrees today, but it's still nice to be toasty here in my quiet place.

My Daddy's Desk

Our bedroom used to be two bedrooms, but the former owner recently tore down the dividing wall and converted it to a master suite. One side has the bed and had the dressers. They moved tonight. One side has a small entertainment center, some bookshelves, and had the loveseat. That moved tonight too. The rearrangement made room for...my daddy's desk.

I'm not sure when my dad bought this desk, but I remember it as far back as Winnipeg. We moved from there in 1973. It is not fancy, but it is well made, and it is deep. On the side I'm seated at, there are three drawers to my right and four to my left. On the other side there is also a spot for a chair with bookshelves on each side. I've never seen another desk like it. Ever. Two people could sit here facing each other.

Considering how well travelled it is, it's in pretty good shape. The worn surface is my favorite part. On this side, right under where my laptop is sitting now, the finish is worn away in one 6 by 12 inch area. That is the place where my dad wrote his sermons. For years. 20 years? 30 years? He was a preacher for over 50...

That worn area and the double sided-ness of it have endeared this desk to me. Tonight it has been moved into the place where the loveseat was. I need a place to read, write, type and maintain a study center. The bedroom is the logical place - away from the hub bub of the family, allowing them free reign over the rest of the house when I'm in the homework mode.

I'll add photos to this blog post once I get the place back in order. (it's currently a bit upside down.) For now I'm going to read a bit, move in some pens and pencils, and perhaps just sit and rub the surface.

My dad would have never guessed that his baby girl would be studying for her degree in Biblical studies decades after he labored over the Word on this very surface. I'm thinking it would have made him beam ear to ear. I'm excited to tell him about it.

There's history in this desk. This feels right.

Just One in the Crowd

According to the stats on Living Proof Ministries blog, Zephaniah 3:17 was the most chosen verse for the Bible memorization program. Wow. I'm so trendy. (see here)

I have not read the long long list at that site, but what a treasure of Bible verses are listed there. Need a quick devotional? Read those precious treasures.

For the second half of January 2009 I choose to memorize:

Psalm 27: 13 & 14 NASB

I would have despaired unless I had believed

that I would see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the LORD.

Friday

It's negative 15 degrees. 9:40 am. Likely it was colder earlier.

Hot shower with the bathroom heat lamp on, extra layers of clothes, warm coffee, and about to sit in the sun drenched south facing living room.

Unfortunately I have lunch with a client at noon. I will have to emerge from our home in less than two hours.

How long does one warm the car when it's negative 15? Should I start it NOW?!?!

Thank you Lord for a warm home, for electricity and gas, and for a reliable auto. Thank you for the security of a cell phone as I venture out. Thank you that school was cancelled and the kiddos are all snug in their beds.

We are so blessed!

Emily Update

When Emily did not call when I knew she should have landed in Madrid, it got me thinking on how out of my control her travel situation is. I am used to instant communication. Being a technology savvy mom - I text. She and I are not in constant communication by any stretch, but we *could* be.

Her cell phone does not work in Spain. Her laptop was tucked away in her backpack, and I knew that it was not going to come out along the way. And so...hmmmm...I just had to wait.

She finally did call. It had taken a while to get her luggage, and then to figure out where Iberia airlines is in the Madrid terminal, having flown in on US Air and needing to recheck her luggage for the next leg. It all took time, and then she had to conquer her first ever pay phone calling card call. All those numbers and codes!

She hung up minutes later, very tired, but needing to stay awake one more hour to ensure not missing her flight to Seville. She'd call upon arrival.

I wondered why she did not call during the afternoon yesterday. By evening I was fretting a bit. By this morning I was considering calling her university. And then she called. She had had a 10 hour lay over in Madrid. I didn't quite follow why...I was too relieved to just hear her voice. She told me that in the airport she had met another American girl and they seem to have become friends. That girl is also in Seville for the semester, and as it turns out is staying in the apartment across the street from Emily. Amazing.

She is on the 7th floor of a rather "dingy" place. There is no phone, no internet and no hot water. What?!? She said that the shower is literally a smallish tub with a hand held sprayer with which to rinse with tepid water. This actually makes me smile (don't tell Emily) because Emily takes the longest steamiest showers that you can imagine. (God does indeed have a sense of humor!) But she said she LOVES the old city, the windy cobblestone streets, and the adventure that lays before her.

Thank you Lord for bringing her safely to Seville. Thank you for phone cards. And thank you for the long hot shower that is available in the next room whenever I want it. Amen.