Back in the swing

Bonjour! We've been back from Paris for a week and a half, but I'm still barely awake at ten pm. I think I wore myself out! What a fabulous city - I am officially a Francophile. I want to live in Paris.

I just had my hot chocolate. Each night I make myself a cup of hot milk, and add splenda and ghiradeli cocoa...quite sublime. It's a wee taste of Paris to savor here in Greendale.

A new class is begun, work is busy, Anna just had prom, Frank was in Toronto, the garden needs tending...back to life in full swing. I am surrounded by piles that need my attention.

But my heart...tis still in Paris. I'm not quite all back yet. And not sure that I want to be.

Bon soir, gjr.

From Paris with Love

Now I am getting VERY excited. Our trip is feeling...REAL.

Other than a client lunch at the Yacht Club tomorrow, I'm done with work for TWO weeks. Bliss. I've been working 45-50 hours a week for the last month, and I'm pooped and ready for this break.

I have three days to clean the house, pack and repack. And to keep brushing up on my French. And to read the three novels set in France that I have begun. Sounds heavenly. Putter and read. Love it.

I have set up a new blog for our trip. The address is http://bonjourgracie.blogspot.com/

So, go there now and sign up to follow. I'm hoping to chronicle our Paris adventures there, so, check in often. And please oh please...comment!

Not sure if I'll blog here again before Monday, so, if not, au revoir!

Mysterious ways

Sometimes, often, God's ways are not my ways. He answers my prayers ... creatively.

We have a big, once in a lifetime trip coming up. I've been praying. I'm not a worrier, but this has been looming for months, and I AM a planner for sure.

A couple months ago I prayed earnestly that God would assist us financially so that the usual *stuff* wouldn't accompany Frank and I to Paris. Frank is an accountant, and he thinks in terms of budgeting. Everything. Me, I work hard and then like to enjoy the moments with the cash on hand. I don't spend beyond what we have, but I count the cost of missed opportunities more than the budgetary consequence. We've learned how to deal with that difference, but it causes a few tense moments. Actually, we balance each other out. On my own, I'd be broke but smiling. He'd be rich and dull. So...anyhow, I want our time in Paris to be stress free.

This morning as I made breakfast for Jake for the first time in weeks, I reviewed the absolute CRAZY schedule I've been keeping. I generally work 24 hours a week, but now I'm on my fourth straight week of full time plus. Add that to finishing a graduate school class, and keeping up with a busy family, a lot of singing at Easter, blah blah blah... you get the picture. I've never had five work projects on my desk at one time, but I do now! I've been under enormous pressure, juggling them and trying to keep them straight and moving forward. My work is all about deadlines, and the clients set the timing. When the Request for Proposal arrives in the mail, I have a deadline.

But this morning God reminded me of my prayers. My last two checks have been larger than usual, and the one I get this Friday will be close to double my normal paycheck. Just in time. Thank you Lord. I would have preferred finding a wad of twenties, but, indeed, You did provide.

As a diabetic, my health is another concern when traveling - I don't get sick that often, but when I do, the diabetes makes it worse. Also, I have not been sick since my lung yuck which landed me in the hospital this last December, so I've been wondering if the next cold or flu would hit my lungs. Well, God allowed a sinus infection last week, which is not a surprise since sleep was sparse and stress was high. Working non stop and finishing up this semester's final paper, the last thing I needed was a sinus infection. I'm coming out of it now, and it was intense. But hey... no lung involvement (thank you Jesus) and now my resistance is up. I generally only get one illness per season...so...I should be good to go!

Add to that the unpredictable amazing volcanic ash situation, and you'll have a glimpse of my recent duress.

And so this morning, as I sip my coffee, I'm smiling. God and I handled this one a little better than usual. I've been praying a lot, listening to uplifting music, and purposefully turning my thoughts to Him in the moments when panic threatened. My ten page fully annotated paper on "sanctification" is turned in, the Monday night final quiz went well, three projects are out of my hands and under review. The fourth and largest (60 pages of type and photo) ( times six copies, bound etc.) goes into UPS this morning. One more project to tackle, and I will get it done in the remaining work week.

My sinuses, along with the air space over Europe, are clearing.

Trust. I'm learning to trust. And this time, amazingly, I saw real progress in my reactions and in my inner responses. There's nothing like the peace that passeth understanding.

"Dependence" by Jamie Slocum has been my Prozac song of the last few weeks - God has really ministered to me through it. I'm growing. I'm leaning in. Who knows what He's preparing me for...

April 19th

Today is the one year anniversary of my father's trip to heaven. I still miss him. Grief is a strange travel companion. Just when you think you have dealt with it all, another memory hits and the tears well up again. But it has been a sweet year, for I am so thankful that I know without a doubt that Gib (that's what I called him for the last decade) is in heaven enjoying his eternal reward. Oh how forlorn the first year of grief must be without that assurance.

In my reading this morning, I am in 1 Samuel 1-3. It's one of those times when I'm simply reading the passage for the study I'm doing (A Heart Like His by Beth Moore) and wham... God's sovereign timing became evident.

The verse that hit me is 1 Samuel 3:13 and 14, " For I [God] told him [Eli] that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, 'The guilt of Eli's house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.'"

My dad had some tough conversations with his children near the end of his days. Some of my siblings still resent it, and wonder why he risked relationship. But as I read this passage I am so proud of my late daddy. He did indeed know that speaking plainly about what the Bible says about sin might risk alienation. But some things are more important than being popular. It was so not unloving. It was the essence of self sacrificial love. My father spoke the truth of God's word into a situation where God's Word is not seen as relevant. He knew the likely consequence. But he did it anyhow.

In this Scripture, Eli's lack of confrontation caused a *permanent* scar on the family line. That is very sobering.

So in addition to being thankful for the relationship I had with my father, the love of Scripture that he held until his last conscious moments, his steadfast spirit in times of duress, this morning I am thankful for his bravery. For his obedience. For his love and concern for each and every one of his children. He spoke the truth as he knew it - the God breathed innerant Word. There is no greater legacy.

I miss you Gib, but I'm happy for you. You've made it through the preparatory school of human life, and you've moved on to the real thing. See you soon!

New Toys

So, yesterday I had an appointment for a Mac class at Mayfair mall. I went early to play with the iPad, as I was really considering buying one. In another post I might explain my uses, but for now, let's just say that I would get as much use as most out of this new toy.

A salesman approached me - we'll call him Mark. He asked me if he could help, and I told him I wanted to see if the apps I use regularly on my iPod would transfer well to an iPad. He of course asked for an example, so I explained that I am a theology student, and I would need the Olive Tree Bible software to work at least as well. I have various Bible versions and also a Systematic Theology text on there. At that point it became very fun, for Mark looked right at me and excitedly told me that he had been going to church for one month, and didn't really know what to do next as far as studying the Bible. We talked about the church, a non denominational church in Wales, and how much he loved attending. I was able to show him the Bible application, and also direct him to Living on the Edge dot com where there is an entire online discipleship class - R12. (R12 stands for Romans 12)

This really was a kick for me. I am not overly gifted in evangelism - my forte is more in the discipleship area. But this was really exciting, and will spur me on to be more open about my passion for the Word. As in a previous post where I shared with a business partner and was asked to pray for our lunch, I am finding that sharing about my studies opens doors. Or not. But either way is okay - that is God's business. My part is to be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within me. (1 Peter 3:15)

TIme for work. With our big vacation just TWO WEEKS from today, I'll be working 40 plus hours a week unti then. I miss my Mondays off already!

Do what you can.

This morning I am reading in my new Mosaic NLT - a very cool version of the Bible that you can read about at www.HolyBibleMosaic.com. I am reading the suggested readings for Passion Week. (the week of Good Friday leading up to Easter)

As I began to read Mark 14:1-15:47, I made a few notes that greatly encouraged me.

Mark 14:3 depicts the story of the woman pouring out expensive perfume onto Jesus as an act of devotion. Of course she is criticized. It's good for me to remember that I won't always be understood - except by Jesus. He knows the very motivation of her heart, (I just LOVE THAT) and commends her in verse 7, "You will always have the poor among you, and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me." And it made me think - it's okay to not always be the most sensible one in the room. There are times when we need to live in the moment and take advantage of an opportunity that won't come our way again.

I'm actually kind prone to this kind of behavior, but there are people in my life who don't approve. Do you know what I mean? This verse was just freeing to me this morning. I want to live in such a way that I am flexible enough to pour the perfume, to live in the here and now and see what God is up to. There are moments of JOY to be found in the most ordinary places - we just have to be open to them. Ephesians 5:16 tells us to "Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days." Colossians 4:5 says the same. (read the context of those verses to see that in our actions we are to be gracious, and not act thoughtlessly) And it is also important to note that this example of spontaneity is OTHER focused. It would be easy to spur of the moment take care of ME... but this example is all about her sacrificing for another - for her Lord.

I love Mark 14: 8's wording in the New Living Translation: Jesus says, "She has done what she could..." Isn't that FREEING? What does God expect from me, from you? That we do what we can. We don't have to figure it out, solve the problem, fix the mess... it's not always our responsibility. We just have to do what we can. Jesus appreciated that, and pointed it out to those nay-saying disciples of His. I just LOVE this. Jesus so appreciated her gesture of love, even though it really did not change the gravity of the situation. He was still going to die. But in that moment He had the sweetness of intimate relationship and devotion. He appreciated that moment.

Do you ever feel hopeless in a situation: your or someone else's problem is just so big that it paralyzes you to inaction? Just...do what you can. Ease her burden for just a few moments if you can. Just be there. Do what you can. Sometimes when I am in a pit of despair, I simply need a hug, and then I feel less alone. I always need an anointing of God's Word - a simple word of hope from a friend - a reminder of WHO is in control.

We need to just do what we can when the opportunity arises. Look for an opportunity to bless someone today.

Olive Tree

If you have an iPhone or an iPod touch, you'll want to read this.

I downloaded Olive Tree Bible reader to my iPod touch, and it has changed my quiet time. Really. Whereas I used to have stacks of Bibles (versions) and books to tote about, I now use my iPod A LOT.

So far I have loaded 5 Bibles: NASB with Strongs, ESV Study Bible, Mosaic NLT, NIV with notes and Amplified.

Looking up a passage is simple. Then, with a very simple two button maneuver, I can read the same verse in a different version, or the study notes for the passage. Cross references are all electronically linked. Amazing.

I can highlight, attach notes to a certain passage, and even change the icon of the note so that I know the subject matter before opening my note. The highlighters can be programmed to different titles, so I have purple highlights for "Attributes of God," orange highlights for "Promises to Plead," etc. Likely I need to show you in person how ***cool*** this is.

My iPod fits in my purse. It's always there. Instant reading if I'm stuck at the doctor's office.

I've also downloaded the free Barnes & Noble ebook reader, and have a few daily devotional books on there, too.

It's hard to put into words how exciting this is for me. (stop smirking) Keeping track of my resources and having the right things with me at the right time has been such a challenge. Yes, I still like books and the feel of the paper and the actual hand writing of my notes. But this, this is revolutionary.

When I go to class, I have my iPod instead of my Bible. And it's FAST to look up the verses. And the Greek and Hebrew definitions. I even have Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology book uploaded on Olive Tree. That actual hardcover book is 3 inches thick and 1300 pages.

Our 22 year old was sitting next to me at church yesterday, and he was intrigued as I took notes electronically on certain verses. He told me that was very cool, and that he had iPod envy.

Okay...back to studying. Quiz # 4 tonight on Christ's work, and the Five Theories of Atonement. 10 page fully annotated page due in 3 weeks. I've chosen the subject, "Sanctification."

I would love to be a full time student and writer. Anyone want to pay me? :)

Monday Monday

I love Mondays. Usually. Of late, Mondays have been spent at work. And when I don't have Monday in which to get my ducks in a row, a lot of things suffer... including my blog.

But today, today I am off work, bustling about with a to do list in my mind, thanking God for full energy and a day off in which to use it.

This morning during my Pause (trying to find a new name for my quiet time... do you like "pause"?)(something makes me think "menopause" which of course totally ruins the mind picture) I downloaded a new resource to my iPod - the Mosaic Bible. It is a New Living Translation Bible which has a "mosaic" of reference materials such as paintings, poetry, quotes from Christians throughout the centuries and from many continents ... a unique resource.

What I really *love* is the forward information.

"On our own we are little more than bits of stone and glass. Together we are the body of Christ."

"All too often we allow the here and now to dominate our lives and define who we are. But as Christians, we are each part of something much larger than simply the here and now. We are part of a mosaic - a patchwork of people, places, times, and cultures - that depicts one person: Jesus Christ.

The purpose of this Bible is to provide a way to encounter Christ on every continent and in every century of Christian history. Why? Because when this happens, God's profound and often unexpected work on behalf of his children becomes clear in new and exciting ways. It is important to see that the body of Christ is much bigger than the small piece we each experience in our everyday lives. ... It's not about the individual pieces, as important as they are. It is about the whole picture that emerges when all these pieces come together to form the beautiful mosaic that is God's church."

Such lovely thoughts. Makes my own little world less important and more important all at once. It is not all there is. And yet, my little world and influence are a part of how the world views Christ.

More information on the resource can be found at www.HolyBibleMosaic.com

Truth

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You.

Trust in the LORD forever. For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock.

Isaiah 26:3,4 NASB

Blessed

Blessed I am.

Snuggled under a down lap blanket, hot coffee to my right, windows before me with birds chirping happily at the feeder - I am in my favorite spot. In the bedroom, on the love seat facing the yard, reading, sipping, journaling, and working through my current Bible study workbook.

Having been away at a hotel for a few days, I'm cognizant of the blessing of being snugged back in. The natural beauty of our woods feeds me, even in these last grey brown muddy days as we anticipate the green of spring. This luxurious pace soothes me. I need to emerge and go walking soon, to get some exercise and fresh air; but for now...I am still.

Two children have left for school. Another is up and laughing at the TV while having breakfast. One has not yet emerged from her cocoon of sleep. Blessed.

Work awaits. I'm at an odd place in career - I sense that I could jump in with both feet and find success. For my job, and my industry, I have what it takes. It's there waiting for me. And yet... would I be fulfilled at such a pace? Money and status versus time and balance. There is no *right* answer - it is a personal journey that can be coached but not taught. There is a different solution for each of us.

Likely these thoughts are swirling because of my recent travel partner. This woman, who I came to know quite well over 48 straight hours of car travel, is immensely successful in her career. Her husband is the home base for their two teens. She is one of the most balanced highly successful women that I have met. She had many sweet calls with kids - the checking in kinds of calls. She went running from our hotel. She spoke of neighbors, of church, and of times of refreshment in the woods they call their yard. She enjoys late night swims.

She was intrigued with me and my pursuits, but I could tell she didn't quite *get it.* She told me she thought I undersold myself - that I could do *more.* She was very appreciative of my studies and pursuits, but I sensed that she didn't quite think that my flexible schedule would maximize my efforts.

Well, yes, I could push. I could be at work right now rather than here reading and writing. I could be at work 60 hours a week, and paid well for it. Yes, she's right. I could do more. I could have ignored the opportunity today for lunch with Emily before she heads back to school from her spring break. I could have worked this morning to avoid the possibility of a few hours of catch up in the office on Saturday. Or I could have worked both days!

Women are given so many options, aren't we? We are the keepers of the home, the keepers of the children, the keepers of our goals and dreams, the keepers of relationships, and the increasingly, the keepers of the workplace. A priority must be to be the keeper of balance in the very precious gift of 24 hours each day. Conscious choice. Choose where to invest my minutes.

I'm thankful for options. I realize that not everyone has them. But even as full time workers, or single moms, each woman still has the opportunity to balance the remaining time. We need to nurture all parts of us: physical, spiritual, intellectual, social... we each have 24 hours. With the options I have, I still struggle to find the right combination, and not *waste* any precious minutes. Sitting and staring at my bird feeder is not a waste. Sitting and staring at the internet - that might be. Balance. Choices. Moment by moment.

Well, now it's time for 20 more minutes in the Word. And then 30 minutes on the pavement walking and listening to the birds. Often I listen to a 30 minute podcast on my iPod while I walk, but today I might just listen to the birds - live and in person.

Enjoy your Friday. Take a minute, or ten, to put your feet up and stare out the window at the wonder of spring. Go for a walk around the block at lunch time. The pause that refreshes...thinking time...I highly recommend it!

Quiet

I've been rather quiet here lately. Sorry.

It's been an introspective period. I'm not sure I've ever spent more time in Bible study, journaling in various journals, and just taking time to pray and think. It's been good. Good and quiet.

Enjoy the photo above...it's time to think spring.

I'll write soon. Very soon.

The Principle of the Path

This morning I did something I've never done before. I went to Joyce Meyer's website and watched her TV show. I had noticed in a magazine that Andy Stanley was on her show on February 15th, and I wanted to see him. My husband has been receptive to his teaching at men's group, so my interest had been piqued.

The website it here. You go there and then scroll to February 15th on that horizontal strip of tv images below the big black box.

Andy Stanley is Charles Stanley's son. And a pastor. And an author.

The simplicity of the message of their discussion really hit me today. I took notes (of course) and the two quotes that resonated with me the most are here:

"Direction, not intention, determines destination." -Andy Stanley

"Make decisions today that you're going to be happy with tomorrow!" - Joyce Meyer

If you find yourself "stuck" in any area of life, I suggest you invest 25 minutes in this show. I also watched February 14th - fabulous guest speaker from the UK (handsome AND a great accent) speaking about living in the world. His message was that we need to have an interesting and well rounded life in order to be a part of non-christians' worlds too. No holy huddles. He makes a point of being interested in people's stories. Just like Jesus.

Good stuff. Wow there's a lot of good stuff on the web.

And now, in the spirit of doing something for which I'll be glad tomorrow, I'm going to [walk right past the doughnuts and] go to the health club! Happy Friday!

Books Books Books

Oh my. I am sitting outside the orthodontist’s office, reading an e-book on my laptop. Oh my.

On Sunday at Barnes & Noble, during my wandering time, I happened upon the Nook. I’m thinking that the makers of the Nook and Kindle and the like are attempting to make quick sales in light of Apple’s impending iPad. Barnes & Noble has an army of sales people with NOOK ribbons. A saleslady asked me if I'd like to hear about it.

Of course I would. Me, who takes more books than clothes on vacation? Me, who takes books TO the bookstore just in case I don’t find the right one to peruse there? Me, the gal who had the three inch thick Theology book in her airplane carry on bag? (ya...true story)

[At the pool in Scottsdale, a 50ish man was flanked by late teen/early twenties girls - assuming daughters - each sporting a Kindle. Those girls read there for hours with their slim and sleek little readers. I must be getting old. I didn’t envy their slim and sleek bodies as much as their sexy little book readers…]

Well, since I’m an Apple gal now, I’ll wait for the iPad. But the NOOK was intriguing. At one point the saleslady made the side remark...that the books downloaded from B&N could be read on an iPod, a Blackberry, and a laptop. Um...I have all of those. I had downloaded a book onto my iPod before, and while VERY handy, it’s a bit...small. But my laptop? WHEW.

And so, rather than buy the book I was looking at, I downloaded it. And here it is on my Mac. I just turned to page one. Immediately I wanted to highlight something, and VOILA… I can! And I can make notes. It's very very simple.

Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. My laptop is usually with me, and now there will be books to read, whereever I am, without pre-thought and without adding weight and bulk to my bag. I hope some of my friends catch on to this, because you can "lend" electronic books too - for three weeks they are available to a friend but not to you on your computer. AMAZING.

I’m gonna love this.

Lay Them Down

Here's a game I got from Diane's blog.

RULES:
1. Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag at least 10 friends
5. Have Fun!

*caveat: I have thousands of podcasts on my iTunes, so I’m skipping those…

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

One More Broken Heart (by Point of Grace) hmmmm

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF

Don’t Stop Me Now (by Queen)(this is pretty good - at times I really do get on a roll...)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Who is Like You? (by Tim Neufield)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Violin Concerto in A (by Antonio Vivaldi)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Sanctuary (by Stephanie Seefeldt)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

We Can’t Wait Any Longer (by Michael W. Smith)(This is VERY good...I hate waiting!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Cours D’amours - Amor volta indique (from Carmina Burana)

[Translation: Courts of Love)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

The Tennessee Waltz (by Patti Page)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

We Fall Down (by Kutlass)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?

Silent Night (by Sheila Walsh)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Peace (by George Winston)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Thy Word Medley (by Glad)(my favorite answer!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

God’s Still on the Throne (by Calvin Hunt)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Here with Us (by Joy Williams)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Joy to the World! (by Amy Grant)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Superstar (by Murray Head) (funniest answer!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Call to Worship (by MercyMe)(great answer!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Angels We Have Heard on High (by Josh Groban)(who knew?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

God of Wonders (by Paul Baloch)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

Always (by Sheila Walsh)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

They’ll Soon Discover (by The Shins) (Ha...this is from a Sponge Bob Square pants soundtrack I put on my iPod for Jake 7 or 8 years ago…)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Lay them Down (by Stephanie Seefeldt)

This and That

It's almost the end of February - that is amazing. I'm in a blue kinda funk, and not very chatty, as you might have noticed. Here's a bit of this and that, in no particular order.

• I enjoyed 5 days in Scottsdale Arizona last week. Sun and fun for two days. Cool and rainy for three days. Luxurious rest and relaxation throughout. Free luxury condo thanks to a friend. Good company with a friend from church. All good.
• While there we attended two evenings of the Joyce Meyer convention. That woman preaches the Word. I've listened to 100's of hours of Podcasts and now have seen her live and have not heard *any* theology with which I would take issue. She preaches the Word. I recently heard her slammed again on a conservative Christian talk show, and it really troubles me.
• At the convention I was introduced to the music of Phil Wickham. Two thumbs up.
• We attended Scottsdale Bible Church, and all I can summarize with is: WOW. Loved it. Moving to Scottsdale is now on my bucket list.
• My dad's plant sprouted. This brought inordinate joy to me this morning. Gib loved this plant which was in his nursing home room for the 5 years following my mom's funeral. It thrived no matter how much it was ignored. A couple months before he died I took a cutting of it - for sentimental reasons. A succulent, I simply put it in wet soil. And I've kept that soil wet. One long ugly branch. Well today there's a shoot. The original plant was disposed of at his death - it had definitely seen better days, and it would have made me sad. And yes, it was ugly. Anyhow, I'm looking forward to cutting off this one long ugly branch. Maybe it will be a pretty plant as it sprouts up. I'm smiling just looking at it.
• There were hoofprints in the snow by the bedroom window today, and they trail to the woods. The bird feeder is newly empty. Deer. They found the feeder again.
• My theology prof mentioned a song recently, "Joy in the Journey" by Michael Card. I downloaded it on iTunes and have found such comfort in it. Today I downloaded the sheet music, and I'm hoping to sing it on Sunday. Full of hope.
• Going out with the neighbors tonight - to a fish fry. We have the annual Christmas party, and have been credited with bringing the neighborhood back together. Hospitality is such a lost gift isn't it? We love having people over.
• Me, the non-tv gal, I've been really enjoying snippets of the Olympics. We have a tv in our room that is truly never used, but a few evenings I've had it on as I've sorted through the desk piles. Our bedroom is much cleaner! I think I enjoy the fact that it's in Vancouver, where I used to live. Just seeing the mountains in the background has lifted my spirits. My brother who lives out there is an Olympics addict - he and I text back and forth as we watch. That's been sweet as well.
• Sweet Sue is coming over tomorrow. That might get me outta this funk. I love sweet Sue.
• Still *loving* Beth Moore's Bible study and DVD series, "Breaking Free." I highly recommend it. Solid study. Universal application. Get's you thinking...
• There. You're all up to date. Pretty boring, eh?
• Leave a comment. Cheer me up. I dare you.

Flying V

Our youngest son, age 14, debuted on his electric guitar last night. He's been taking lessons for over three years, and he spends hours in the basement rocking the house.

Between his guitar, and his sister spending over an hour a day on piano, our house is a bit noisy. But I love it. Every time I hear them I thank God for such a HEALTHY way for teenagers to spend their time. They both have such talent, and they find pleasure in it. We are blessed.

If you'd like to see Jake in action, you can see it here.

Enjoy. And Happy Valentine's Day!

Computers

Snow Day

Sitting at the dining room table, staring out at the woods and a swirl of white, I am feeling blessed. The commute in a possible 10 to 14 inches of snow was not worth it today, and my morning appointment and lunch appointment are both rescheduled. It feels like a gift. Due to the amazing invention of wireless internet I am able to monitor work from afar, and will be setting up meetings by email - much the same as I would have done in the office. One of the men for whom I work is emailing with me about a future project. I'm really not missing much by being here instead of there.

But what am I gaining? Oh, the list is amazing.

I spent a leisurely time with God, as today's study had me in Matthew 26 and Psalm 55 looking at the topic of betrayal. I cried again as I read of my Savior's time in the garden of Gethsemane. His prayers, His aloneness, His acquiescence to God's sovereignty. And then in Psalm 55 David reveals the heart pain of having a close friend turn on him. As I worked through Day four of Week Five of Breaking Free, I went well beyond the questions and meditated on the pain of those Scriptures. The betrayals I've experienced came to memory. Forgiveness. My favorite passage, Hebrews 4: 14-16, resonated in me again. Jesus understands. He knows disappointment. He knows lonely. He knows betrayal. He knows desertion. He knows temptation. He knows what it is like to repeatedly beg God for Plan B. Oh the relief of realizing that my Savior knows and understands. There is nothing that compares with the intimacy I feel with Jesus. It's worth the hours invested. The benefits are exponential - it's easier and easier to dive in and be heart to heart. (The same as any relationship, the groundwork had to be laid. It was discipline at first to invest the time...) It's so worth it.

I pulled myself off the love seat, (I could stay there all day!) and now am working on my midterm paper due in a couple weeks for my Theology class: "Discuss the theological importance of the Image of God. How does the doctrine bear on contemporary debates about human value?" Having a few extra hours to study is such a gift. I love this studying too.

I'll be able to get 30 minutes in on the treadmill.

I'll be here when Jake gets home, which today is an extra blessing since he'll be running the snow blower. I need to be here during that time, so now he can do it in the daylight. (Frank is out of town)

I can putter - wipe the counters, do the straggler dishes, pick up, put away the laundry on the drying rack...all the things that get neglected from Tuesday to Thursday most weeks. I'll have to work part of Friday to get in my hours, but that's okay.

The best part is the unexpectedness of it. It feels so decadent to be home on a Tuesday. It makes me appreciate again the amazing job that God has provided for me. I know that He provided me this job so that I could make a decent earning in just 3 days a week and devote extra time to study and teaching. I know that. And I appreciate it. And I *love* it! And I do believe that I honor Him with it, remembering the *why* of these extra hours. And I get to be HOME - where my heart truly is. Sigh.

Happy Snow Day.

It's the Relationship

As I've been reading on healing, whether that be emotional or physical, it's been emphasized that the process is to produce a relationship with the Healer. This viewpoint does put our struggles into perspective. The result is relationship, not just healing, and is helpful in understanding James 1.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,

knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete,

lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4 NASB

I'm pretty sure I don't yet consider it all joy. But I do realize that who I am today is a result of everything that has happened to me, along with the choices I've made. If I hadn't struggled in certain areas, I would not have compassion. I see people all around me who do not have compassion, and it is very unattractive. I'm thankful for my compassion which has been earned the hard way: I've been there. And even if my "there" is not the same as your "there," I know pain, and can relate to your pain. It is a beautiful thing if we'll let each other get close enough to know about the pain.

God is working on this very slow learner. It's not about me. It's about Him. And whatever it takes to get me to shift my focus from me to Him... it's worth it. Through it all, I've gained a really close relationship with my Healer. While I'm still in process, I'm seeing progress. When I think of my trials and think they were worth it... that will be progress indeed.

It's Never Hopeless.

My Bible study this morning is on the topic of generational sin. (Day 4 of Breaking Free week 4) The sinful habits that we observed in our parents or other close older relatives are so very easily incorporated into our lives. We grew up in this habit. It can become our normal, and effort is needed to live outside of that normal. Oh how well I know this.

Jeremiah 18: 1-6 combined with verse 12 have hit me hard this morning.

Jeremiah 18:1-6 (NASB95)

1 The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord saying,

2 “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will announce My words to you.”

3 Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something on the wheel.

4 But the vessel that he was making of clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he remade it into another vessel, as it pleased the potter to make.

5 Then the word of the Lord came to me saying,

6 “Can I not, O house of Israel, deal with you as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel.

12 “But they will say, ‘It’s hopeless! For we are going to follow our own plans, and each of us will act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart.’

How many times have I excused certain behaviors thinking "That's who I am ... that's what I observed and learned. It's hopeless, and it's a bummer. If only ... "

Verse 12 is so very telling. God is telling Jeremiah that even though He, the God of the Universe, is willing to remake His people into new vessels ... in fact verse 5 tells us it pleases Him to do so ... we just shrug our shoulders, say it's hopeless, and stay in our muck.

Wow. Read this passage over and over. Ask God to open your eyes. And then move on to Romans 8:37-39

Romans 8:37-39 (NASB95)

37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.

38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Did you notice the "how" of it? We are conquerers THROUGH HIM who loved us.

Luke 1:37 (NASB95)

37 “For nothing will be impossible with God.”

AMEN!