Little things make me sad, and the tears seem to come a bit more often these days. Of course now I am grieving the loss of the family structure as well. Our home has been the hub...but...no more.
I have finally finished the finances, and finished the *many* thank you's from the funeral and memorials, and now it's just odd little stuff:
- His clothes need to go to Goodwill.
- The photo albums need to be put back away - about 40 of them came out for my siblings to look through - my mom was the premiere scrapbooker. I emptied the bookshelf in the family room, and put them there. They are still there.
- The display photos that I kept in a big tub titled "Funeral" for the 5 years since my mom's death - what do I do with them now?
- The *big* portrait of the two of them that hung in his room...I can't throw that out, can I?
- I keep getting the mail...mostly advertisements... and ministry updates...mailed to his name at my address. I painstakingly write "deceased" and return to sender. Amazing how hard it is to write that 8 letter word.
- The banking is done. I closed our joint account. I remember opening it 8.5 years ago...it was so amazing to think that I was the keeper of my parent's funds. It was overwhelming, although not so large a job in reality. 3 years in assisted living and 5 years in skilled nursing took care of every penny. Both of them felt at home right until the end - they were in lovely facilities. Thank God.
Time moves on. While the work of the last 6 weeks is winding down, the emotions seem to be winding up.
Grief is an interesting path.
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