Rough Week

It's been a rough week.

Huge project due last Monday, but I wanted Monday off to study, so I worked on Sunday afternoon.
My husband went out of town for work for the week.

Monday was good - cookie baking and studying. Relaxed yet productive day.

Tuesday we had a management meeting at work - the three owners and me - and the decision was made to downsize. I had to help decide which 7 employees were going to be let go out of our firm of 30. Agony.
I didn't sleep well.

Wednesday I got all the termination papers ready. Since I was at work, I interacted with everyone all day, knowing that on Friday 7 would be gone. It was simply overwhelmingly sad. Began some projects due on Monday the 2nd.
I didn't sleep well.

Thursday I stayed home to study again. My exam covered an unbelievable amount of material - which makes sense at the graduate level. The material is so fabulous, and I know that God had my exam scheduled for the same week as the lay off so that I would be immersed in His Word.
The exam went well. I was so incredibly worked up though. The emotional heaviness mixed with the pressure of studying was very intense.
I didn't sleep well.

Friday was horrid. A group of three. Tears. Disbelief. One person, one-on-one. More tears. (theirs, not mine - I was determined to stay professionally apart) And then another in the afternoon. (He had been out all morning) An all staff meeting to settle everyone's nerves. Stunned disbelief. Our office is like a family.
The pressure began to mount for the two projects due Monday, but my mind was mush. Then the phone rang at work - my dad - his brother, my dear uncle Herb, had died. More tears. My dad's.

I drove home in silence. No one was home. 45 minutes later I was still on the couch, still in my coat, petting the dog and crying in the dark. The whole week of pressure poured out.

My husband got home about 7:30. We went for pizza, debriefed a bit, and I went to bed. I still didn't sleep well.

Today, amazingly, I awoke refreshed. Bible Study this morning, followed by worship music - practicing to lead worship with my guitar next week. Then to work. Worked 5hours in order to get Monday's projects done - so I can head back to Iowa for the funeral.

My brother is flying in from Alabama, and we'll drive together tomorrow, just the two of us. My brother from Minneapolis will meet us there, where he and I will sing at the funeral. My aunt has lost her son, her sister and her husband in the period of 3 months. Unbelievable.

And so...the blog is a bit quiet. I'll be back. But for now I am processing.

God is on His Throne. He is in control. I rest in Him.

We interrupt this study of Gnoticism...

One can only study for so many hours straight. I've enjoyed my day home, puttering around the house a bit, yet mostly curled up with some good books and a mid-term study guide graciously provided by our professor. It is one page delineating what we should know, and it is quite capable of bringing on heart palpitations. [baby steps, Grace, memorize one thing at a time...]

Around 2 I decided to make tonight's casserole, taking a break from memorizing terms about the first century Roman empire. Once those dishes were done I thought that since I seem to so rarely be home a whole day maybe I should spoil the kids with some home made cookies. (this tender motherly thought just barely covers the blatent procastination involved, eh?) Recently I had seen a recipe here at a blog I've enjoyed entitled "A Work of Heart."

I made those cookies, using the exact recipe except: I had minced pecans so I used those rather than chopped; I ran out of oatmeal, so finished the 2.5 cups with about half steel cut oats (thereby doubling the cost of each cookie); and I had leftover Christmas M&M's, so I subbed those for the chocolate chips. When the recipe called for a two inch ice cream scoop, I will admit, I doubted. In fact I took the first batch out of the oven half way through and squashed them, but that was not necessary...I'm now a believer.

These are some of the best cookies I have ever had. Really. And it is great to make four cookies in one scoop - a lot less puttering.

For the photo below I put a regular sandwich cookie on the rack for comparison sake. Yes, these cookies are large. One just fits in a ziploc sandwich bag - perfect lunch treat. (or, perfect lunch)



Jake's first reaction when he walked in the kitchen?

"WHOA!"
That's all I needed - my mother's heart is full.
Now, back to Gnosticism...

Blessed

Well, just when I was going to find a photo of a crocus or something, we've got a big snowstorm, and the photo on my blog is just what I see out my kithen window. So...the photo stays.

I'm holed up studying. Until next Thursday. Well...I might take a few breathers for important stuff like sleep, church and work. But that's about it.

And just now, as I was reading about "John's Contribution according to Carson and Moo," (the gospel of John and what it contributes as compared to the three other gospels, according to two theologians who wrote the text book) it just swept over me how blessed I am.

I'm very much under pressure (self pressure) to study A LOT between now and my midterm...don't get me wrong. This is intense. But I LOVE the subject matter. It is hard to explain how I love HAVING to study Scripture and about Scripture. I had considered getting an MBA, since Business Administration is indeed what I do, but there would be no passion in that. I am passionate about God's Word. And I am simply a bit overwhelmed with the privilege of digging in this deep.

Later today I will take a study break and write what our professor shared about John 15 this past Thursday night. It's amazing. Check back HERE and I will link the post when it's done.

Still battling a cold. Ventured to the grocery, and now I'm "in" until church tomorrow. I'm guessing we have 5 inches of snow so far, and it's still a blowin' and snowin'. It's a good day to brew a pot of decaf, snuggle up in a quilt and read theology textbooks. I know, I'm a Bible Geek. (Kathi named me that I think...) But honestly, I am so thankful that this is how I spend my hours. It is such a blessing.

Still Kickin'

I'm too tired to write.
But
I am alive.

Two trips in two week ends - about did me in. Michigan was all work. Iowa was part work and part farewell to a dear old uncle. Emotionally draining but wonderful.

A bad cold is lingering. My head is under water.

Class tonight was inspiring. Our midterm is next week...yipes.

Work is crazy busy. Intensely writing proposals all day...my eyes have computer strain. (is that a real disease yet?) Perhaps that is why I'm not inspired to write here...wrote all day and took notes all evening.

Not complaining...just telling...that...I'm pooped.

So...goodnight!

PS On all those driving miles I've been listening to Joyce Meyer CD's and she is AWESOME and speaking right to me. Whew.

Iowa bound

After I sing at a wedding vow renewal in the early afternoon, I am off to Iowa. The trip is spur of the moment due to my dear uncle's failing health. This week end is the only one in the foreseeable future that could work...so off I go. Thankfully I was able to schedule a work appointment with a potential client in Dubuque, so Monday's trip home won't require vacation or unpaid hours. And after Dubuque I will stop in Madison to see our oldest and take the poor starving boy out for dinner.

I'm singing in the nursing home tomorrow afternoon at their church service. Interesting ways in which I am asked to minister - from still blooming love to easing last days.

I'm looking forward to getting caught up on my podcasts on the 14 hours in the car. And I'll be listening to Luke and John - the gospels. I'm way behind on my reading. Skimming scripture is a very tough assignment for me.

Happy Valentine's Day. My hope is that each of you knows you are loved.

Happy Valentine's Day

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.

-- Victor Hugo

Learning

As you might know, I am taking a 4 credit Introduction to New Testament class this spring semester. It's the first 4 credits of 40 plus needed for my Masters Degree.

We are assigned a boatload of homework which we type up and email to the professor.

Since some of my homework assignments are so incredibly rich, I thought some of you might like to read some of them...and yet it's a bit too "heavy" to add them all here - that's not the point of this blog.

So... I have a new blog - just for homework assignments. When they make sense on their own I'll copy and paste my homework questions and answers to www.gracestudies.blogspot.com

The first one is The Passion.

So, feel free to read and grow right alongside me.

My quiet time reflections and photos and life stuff will still be here on gracenotes.

Good night!

I want to...

Emily Update

Although my upcoming adventures are fun to anticipate, they are not quite as exciting as our Emily's plans. This email was so breathless I just had to share part of it.

Hola! I had such an amazing weekend in Granada! We toured the Alhambra (one of the 7 wonders of the world, an Arabic palace..SO cool!) Then on Saturday we took the bus up to the Sierra Nevada mountains! It was so beautiful, and it was snowing, which was fun...it reminded me of home

I’m pretty sure that over Semana Santa (spring break) I’m going to MOROCCO! There is a trip through a travel agency for students (that my school recommends), and it sounds so awesome. We take a ferry over to Africa, spend a day on the coast (beach), then go to the jungle for a day (monkeys!) , then a day in the mountains, and then we’re going camping in the Sahara desert at a campsite that is only reachable by camel! So I get to ride a camel and then watch the sunrise over the Sahara desert!

Isn't that just simply amazing?

Colorado! Florida!

Pocket of Joy ONE! Today a coworker and I made our plane reservations to head to Colorado Springs at the end of May. There's a conference that he is presenting at, and I am the queen of networking so I get to go along. Woo hoo. And we're staying at The Broadmoor which is a FIVE star hotel. Double Woo Hoo.

Our industry is a bit depressed right now (architecture) so my job is VERY busy and relatively stressful. (I'm the one who LOOKS for work...) So what FUN to look forward to a perk like this. We're even going to stay an extra day to explore around the mountains.

Pocket of Joy TWO! My husband is going to Tampa Bay to work during my birthday week, and he's going to buy my ticket as my birthday gift. I'll stay in the hotel and bum around on my own all day, and we'll eat and play in the evenings. (though he usually works late when out of town.) Then we'll stay until Sunday and enjoy an extra lazy pool day on Saturday. What this translates to, as I'm sure you moms have already figured out, is 7 (count them:7) days with no cooking, cleaning, juggling... and most of the hours of those days ALL ALONE with an ocean. WOO HOO. I might need to pay the extra bag charge just for books.

So this evening I am QUITE excited about two trips in the next three months.

It makes the 5 degree temperature just slightly more bearable.

Concrete Thoughts

Just ventured downstairs to take a peek - the men are on lunch break. They've dug a trench at the base of the south wall - step one in seepage repair.
In case you think we have an AWFULLY narrow basement, that wall on the right is the foundation of the two sided free standing fireplace above...



This is what used to be in our basement...


Our 1900 sf ranch home is long and narrow, and the 1900 sf basement is divided in half lengthwise. Thankfully the unfinished side is the side with seepage. The finished side is dry... Guess I should be counting my blessings!

Mental [Health] Monday

Generally I am able to take off on Mondays, and I call them Mental Health Monday MHM. There is something in me that needs to be home ALONE and get sane. I'm nicer on the week end if I can look forward to MHM.

The kids were home from college for 5 Mondays. I can live with that.
Then when Joey (finally) went back to school, Anna had the following Monday off school due to finals week.

So...today...whew. Finally. Except for one small detail...

The basement contractors arrived to solve our seepage issue. Solving the issue involves jack hammers, and large hunks of concrete continuously carried up the stairs to the awaiting dump truck.

This is SO not MHM.

I did go and get a haircut, bought new product (no, the drugstore variety is NOT the same as salon product. If you saw me in the last week, I was LIVING proof!) So, Monday will hold that accomplishment. The laundry is humming. I grocery shopped on Saturday, so cooking is on the agenda this afternoon. This morning I had slotted to study. Which is kinda tough with jack hammers.

It will [eventually] be nice to have the water draining properly through the drain tiles. It is an exceptionally boring way to spend thousands of dollars, though.

We refinanced our house - signed the papers on Saturday - thus reducing our mortgage by 3 years to 15 years, and our interest rate to 4.8something. We both braced ourselves to hear the new (post economic collapse) appraised value, but HALLELUJAH, the appraised value is 20,000 more than we paid just 1.5 years ago. WOO HOO. Location, location, location. The mortgage officer told us ours was the only property she had seen hold its value. So many people paid inflated amounts over the last 5 years...

Back to today...I could go to Barnes & Noble, but I'm afraid Boomer would experience heart failure if I left him alone to deal with these four strange men and that sound.

And so...it's Mental Monday. No *health* involved. Time for a pot of tea, some ear plugs AND the noise machine.(the sound of rain that I put on to mask family noises when I'm sleeping early or late.) And it's 25 degrees which means a walk outdoors with my beloved pup is in order.

Happy Monday everyone. Enjoy some silence on my behalf.