Rough Week

It's been a rough week.

Huge project due last Monday, but I wanted Monday off to study, so I worked on Sunday afternoon.
My husband went out of town for work for the week.

Monday was good - cookie baking and studying. Relaxed yet productive day.

Tuesday we had a management meeting at work - the three owners and me - and the decision was made to downsize. I had to help decide which 7 employees were going to be let go out of our firm of 30. Agony.
I didn't sleep well.

Wednesday I got all the termination papers ready. Since I was at work, I interacted with everyone all day, knowing that on Friday 7 would be gone. It was simply overwhelmingly sad. Began some projects due on Monday the 2nd.
I didn't sleep well.

Thursday I stayed home to study again. My exam covered an unbelievable amount of material - which makes sense at the graduate level. The material is so fabulous, and I know that God had my exam scheduled for the same week as the lay off so that I would be immersed in His Word.
The exam went well. I was so incredibly worked up though. The emotional heaviness mixed with the pressure of studying was very intense.
I didn't sleep well.

Friday was horrid. A group of three. Tears. Disbelief. One person, one-on-one. More tears. (theirs, not mine - I was determined to stay professionally apart) And then another in the afternoon. (He had been out all morning) An all staff meeting to settle everyone's nerves. Stunned disbelief. Our office is like a family.
The pressure began to mount for the two projects due Monday, but my mind was mush. Then the phone rang at work - my dad - his brother, my dear uncle Herb, had died. More tears. My dad's.

I drove home in silence. No one was home. 45 minutes later I was still on the couch, still in my coat, petting the dog and crying in the dark. The whole week of pressure poured out.

My husband got home about 7:30. We went for pizza, debriefed a bit, and I went to bed. I still didn't sleep well.

Today, amazingly, I awoke refreshed. Bible Study this morning, followed by worship music - practicing to lead worship with my guitar next week. Then to work. Worked 5hours in order to get Monday's projects done - so I can head back to Iowa for the funeral.

My brother is flying in from Alabama, and we'll drive together tomorrow, just the two of us. My brother from Minneapolis will meet us there, where he and I will sing at the funeral. My aunt has lost her son, her sister and her husband in the period of 3 months. Unbelievable.

And so...the blog is a bit quiet. I'll be back. But for now I am processing.

God is on His Throne. He is in control. I rest in Him.