Granted to Suffer

Philippians 1:29-30 NASB For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me.

In my hotel room, on a break from schmoozing (my smile hurts) I am reading Philippians. These verses in Philippians caught me today, especially the word "granted." Looked up in the Greek, it is Strongs # 5483: Charizomai. Part of the definition from the Zodhiates Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament includes: To show someone a favor, be kind to. To give or bestow a thing willingly; to be permitted or granted something.

And the word "granted" comes from the word "grace."

So, we, as followers of Christ, are permitted, and shown favor by being able to suffer for His sake.

That's tough to swallow, and yet reluctantly I already see the truth in it. It is the suffering that shapes me, molds me, and sifts me. Without suffering, we'd all be insufferable. (hmmm...that's a good play on words, eh?) We value things more when we work for them, sacrifice for them. We prove what is important to us. And so it must be with our faith. We learn to treasure it through the hard times. And we learn what a treasure it is when we can see the outcomes of God pleasing choices.

Suffering for HIS sake is so much different than suffering for my own stupidity...there must be a strict difference noted there. Suffering for HIS sake denotes making the right choice for the right reason but with undesired consequence.

It's granted. It's a gift. It's part of His grace.

And so perhaps my acceptance of the suffering can include a measure of pleasure - pleased that I am indeed called, and that with that call comes the inevitable. It's almost a badge of honor. A proof.

Which reminds me of one of the toughest verses in the Bible: Hebrews 5:8. Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered.

If Christ had to suffer, and Paul had to suffer, then I am in very good company in the suffering which occurs in my life for His sake. Seeing commitments through, removing myself from certain situations, saying tough truth, not participating in "social sin," ...these are examples of choosing for His sake to suffer the loss of passing pleasure, or the loss of relationship. To be set apart in order to glorify His name, a name to which I am associated as a Christian. And while I have not been stoned or shipwrecked, and certainly not bound and crucified, the small choices granted to me are to test my choice to glorify Christ in my actions. Once in a while there is victory over the flesh, and then...I grow. And actually, as I mature in Him, as well as in years, the choices become clearer, and the victories more frequent.

Opportunities for this growth have been granted to me. To prove to myself, perhaps, what my faith is made of.

Les Fleurs

This photo was shot as the sun was setting in the west. It is the flower garden in front of our living room window - in the back yard. It is glorious...and this photo almost captures it. This photo is not retouched at all. The light was amazing.



The white clematis is new this year - Autumn Splendor. It is a breath of spring that blooms at the start of autumn. I'm loving it.



Lots of posts this week end! But now a bit of a break: I'm out of town (yes...more dinner and golf) for three nights this week, and then having a sleep over party at my dear friend Sue's to celebrate my 45 and a half birthday. (we missed my 45th so the belated celebration and the date was her idea)

See you next week!

The Evangelical Free Church

My husband and I were members of an E-Free church for 20 years. I was a member in various E-Frees for 34 years. Last year we changed churches, for personnel reasons, not doctrinal reasons, but we still receive their magazine, "EFCA Today." On the way to nine holes of golf today I skimmed the Fall 2008 issue while my husband drove.

A number of things popped out at me.

Page 6. Students live in a culture where there is no room or time to hear, encounter or know God. We won't be able to change the culture, but we can be part of a church/ministry that creates space to encounter God.

I love that phrase: Create space to encounter God. Isn't that so relevant? I am definitely noodling that phrase... We need to purpose to create that space in our jam packed lives.

"My Friend Prudence," is an article on page 8 which contains this thought provoking quote: "Too often Christians assume that those outside the Church reject their message because they are rejecting the truth of the gospel. I believe, however, that often these observers don't like us because we have failed to treat them with genuine Christian love." You can read this article on diversity here.

The side bar on page 30 has me beaming. It is the introduction to a ministry called ReachGlobal Agape Home in Thailand. It's the kind of ministry that I want to support and know more about so that when a liberal starts attacking my social values I can respond..."I support an orphanage in Thailand for HIV infected orphans with my money. And you?" The church is so active, but I am so ignorant of ministries like this!

The coordinator, Ellen Costrava, writes: Things die and things are left behind. Dreams die. Mommies die. Hope dies. But this is not he end of the story. Dreams can come alive again. I can be a mommy. Hope can be restored. God cares about lost things. And He cares about children who have been lost...lost in a political system, lost in the the shuffle, lost to someone's memory. I live to be a finder.

Read more about this ministry here.



The world is such a big place isn't it? It's easy for me to become entangled in my dailies, and to lose sight of the big picture. The ministries of the church are a great way to stay connected...I need to become more sacrificially involved. My time is spent on the local church, but my money can affect the global picture.

Gib's Request

A week ago tonight, Sunday, I was one tired puppy. (come to think of it, I'm slightly exhausted tonight as well...) Returning from two overnights at Camp TimberLee, and an emotionally charged week end retreat, I was ready for a relaxing Monday off. Or so I thought.

Smart me planned dinner at a local pizza place on Sunday night. There were 7 of us including my dad and my brother and his wife. We love Ricardos. Anyhow, silly me at one point asked my dear old dad, "What would you like for your birthday meal tomorrow? I'm off, and will cook whatever you like." Silly silly girl. After thinking for 5 minutes, he perked up and said," I've got it, but it's a lot of work." I said something totally inane like "the sky's the limit," and he answered with, "I'd like a full Thanksgiving dinner."

Gulp.

"Would a turkey breast do?" I asked. "No, I like dark meat." was the no nonsense reply.

A trip to a local upscale grocery ensued, with a search for a fresh turkey in September. Hmmmmm. The butcher showed me a whopping 9 pound fresh turkey breast, so that was the start. I followed him to the pieces and parts department, and we dug and came up with two whopper turkey thighs and two huge fresh drumsticks. I picked up a few other staples, and returned home.

I am the family Thanksgiving dinner preparer, and I've got it down to a science. My sons especially look forward to our annual November feast, and I do go all out with homemade rolls, homemade cranberry relish, 10 pounds of smashed potatoes and a very moist bird stuffed with celery, onion and craisin laden dressing. It is amazing. I cook my turkey, the biggest bird I can find - usually around 25 pounds - in a Reynold's cooking bag, and it is moist and delish.

With a tired chef and one day to plan and cook, I took a few shortcuts. Frozen bread rolls, Ocean Spray cranberry-orange sauce, and rice rather than potatoes. I did make the traditional stuffing, and put it in a glass casserole with the drumsticks laying on top. The breast and thighs went in the bag.

The result was quite excellent. I should have started it an hour sooner -- I was afraid that it would be so overcooked since it was in pieces...but that large dense breast could have used more time. I didn't get enough drippings for the gravy, so I did add some turkey gravy mix to the pan...no one seemed to notice. Jake was a little bummed about the rice in lieu of smashed potatoes... The rolls were great, but not "mine," (my butter rolls are legendary)(at least to my kids. Our 15 year old daughter and 12 year old son once each ate 6 at a dinner where we had guests. I couldn't believe we had run out of rolls...until they fessed up...) The pecan pie out of my freezer (no idea where or when I purchased it...) was good but not a homemade apple...



And so Gib had Thanksgiving in September. I'm not sure he'll make it til November 27, so I sure didn't have the heart to deny him his wishes. My sister-in-law calls me "Amazing Grace," thus I have a reputation to protect...

Life is so full. But would I want it any other way? I'll always remember the incredulous look on my sister-in-law's face when Gib made that request. It is a moment to remember. A memory to cherish.

This photo is of the birthday boy, Gilbert, now 83, with our youngest son, his namesake, Jacob Gilbert.

Thursday's Gift

So...on Wednesday I golfed in a golf outing for hospital executives and sponsors of the state's healthcare association. Our architectural firm designs primarily health care facilities, so we sponsor this event which also includes dinners, exhibitions, training, etc.

I was teamed up with two Directors of Nursing (DON)and one of their guests. The DON assigned to my cart had to decline at the last minute, so she sent her delightful husband. The other DON and her fiance were on our team, but in the other golf cart. I knew right away that he was going to be a tough nut to crack. He is a very big guy, an ex law enforcement agent, apparently a decent golfer, and not outgoingly friendly. This was going to be a challenge. Good thing I like challenges!

My golf game started out slow, and I'm betting he was rolling his eyes thinking...great...stuck with a non golfer. I small talked a bit, and concluded that he might just choose to remain grumpy

I asked him to help me with my chip shots for two reasons: I need help, and also I know that men like to be helpful to we damsels in distress. His help really did assist me...and he started cheering on my better shots. The beer cart arrived, and a round of beer helped to smooth the water as well. And then my driver woke up, and I began to hit 200 yard arrows. We used my drive (it was a best ball format) for five or six holes in a row. He was laughing and amazed, and asked how I golfed after TWO beers.

By the end of the round we were fast friends. Score.

He stopped by my exhibition table later, and told my boss how much he enjoyed golf and that I was REALLY good at engaging conversation. He said he met a lot of people in his line of work, and he could spot the genuine ones a mile away. He also guessed my age, in small talk, guessing 36. Well...that sealed it. He was now best friend material. Anyhow, when he stopped by the booth I gave him a dozen golf balls with our firm logo on them. He was gracious and appreciative and complimentary. And his fiancee was so friendly and chatty, as if a miracle had happened before her eyes.

Well...the next morning I was checking out of the hotel and he appeared. He told me he had a gift for me in the car. We walked out to his car, and he told me they had really enjoyed my company and that because I was such a "good kid" he wanted to give me a gift to reiprocate for the golf balls. And he handed me a bag. And inside was a brand new Brett Favre jersey complete with Brett's autograph. !!! He said he had a collection of Brett autographs from working for many years in the Green Bay area. I was incredulous and told him he HAD to be kidding. But he wasn't. He insisted that I keep it as a souvenir of our golf game. ANd not to tell where I got it, as he can't get autographs for every Tom, Dick and Harry... (so...shhhhhhh...this is our little secret)



I went back to our exhibition booth, and stunnedly relayed the story to my boss. He rolled his eyes, and asked me what kind of magic I did on a golf course. Ha.

And so, the most amazing gift. We'll have it framed and on the wall. Although I generally consider football to be a waste of precious time, I do like Brett. If I like any football player, it has to be Brett...he is an icon around here. (still!)

Pockets of Joy. Who could have ever guessed that THAT picture would be in my 2008 journal??

My sons and husband are all putting dibs on it... I'll give it as a wedding gift to our oldest someday...since then I won't have to decorate our family room around it for quite so many years...

The Fonz

We just had dinner on the River Walk, at the Rock Bottom Brewery. After dinner we walked on the River Walk a bit, and came upon Milwaukee's new statue of The Fonz. Henry Winkler is a little guy...the statue was only about 5 foot 7, and he is said to be smaller. Anyhow, Milwaukee had a bit of a tiz about it...the blue collar image or something...but...I kinda like it. Who doesn't want to remember Happy Days?

Gifts!

It's been a week of gifts.

The WELCOME sign was a gift from my brother and sister in law. They stayed for three nights last week end to celebrate our dad's 83rd. When I had visited them in Minneapolis, we had seen, in the window of a closed shop, similar signs. Each letter is a photograph of something that looks like the letter. The close up shows you that the "e" for example, is a stoplight seen from the side. Since I am quirky in my love of letters and words, these are right up my alley. My bro found this one here in my home town at a shop in the village. Imagine that.




Our foyer and hall are being painted today (WOO HOO) and the bright white ceiling really helps this sign to pop out. I love it. (Our daughter had painted the coffee bar and two walls red the week we moved in, but the ceiling and other walls are still a livable but rather dull taupish gray. In fact, the whole house is pretty much that color -- ceilings too.) I'm especially loving the BRIGHT white ceiling. The foyer/hallway/open stairway to the lower level are being painted "Blonde," a yummy golden creamy blend. And yes, I do love the name.

Back to gifts... there will be a posting on my golf course gift received on Thursday. That deserves a blog of it's own.

But this morning my Saturday Morning ladies surprised me with a thank you gift. Four of us have been together a decade, studying the Word together at my home at 7:30 am on Saturday mornings. There are currently 6 of us, and we have been as big as a dozen. They are my soul sisters.

A couple months ago I made pancakes for Jake, our 12 year old, while the ladies were lingering after study. I had a really pathetic fry pan, and since two of the ladies work at a local kitchen wares shop, today they remedied my pan situation. Way overboard. I am now the owner of a 10 piece Rachael Ray cookware collection in Cobalt Blue. And matching spatulas. And matching whisks. I was inspired to take their photo in the dish drainer...won't they just add some pizazz to our kitchen? They're really too pretty to use, don't you think?



I've been waffling on kitchen colors...we have dated country blue counters that are going to be around awhile yet...so...I need to work with those. The laundry room, attached to the kitchen, will also be Blonde, and the living room will be a darker brown color ...the foyer is Sherwin Williams "Blonde" and Benjamin Moore "Spanish Red." The family room and kitchen have not yet been decided... ANYHOW, blue is definitely the kitchen accent color...and will also be in family room since we have a blue leather sofa. All seem to work into a French Country sort of palatte.

So...I'm feeling QUITE spoiled. New pans, decor and paint all in one week. The two young painter men just left - the blonde is only on the edges thus far, but the ceiling is all sparkling white. It is SUCH an improvement...so much brighter. Our foyer is huge - the biggest room in the house, but also the darkest since it has no windows other than the side lights by the front door. But the foyer sets the tone for the whole house...I'm hoping the warm Blonde walls and the rich red coffee bar will shout out WELCOME. And, if they don't, there's always that sign...

15 months after moving in, we're finally settling in. And I'm overflowing with home happiness! If you want to read more about our parkway home, Diane once blogged about it here.

Happy Week end! I think I'm high on paint fumes...

(By the way, we've never hired painters before. It's quite decadent. Our schedules, my perfectionism and the two story walls of the open stairway seemed like enough reason to try hiring...and really...I'm loving it...)

1 Chronicles 4:9 &10

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother named him Jabez saying, "Because I bore him with pain." Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, "Oh that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my border, and that Your hand might be with me, and that You would keep me from harm that it may not pain me!" And God granted him what he requested.

I love these verses. They are written in the front of my journal, and highlighted in my Bible. This morning I'm reading The Prayer of Jabez for Women by Darlene Wilkerson. This line encouraged me: "I began to use the words of Jabez to express the deepest longings of my own heart. I pleaded with God for a better and bigger view of my life, one that would reveal what He had in mind for me." LONGINGS. There's that word again. 2008 is my year of thinking about the LONGINGS of my heart and what they mean.

On the retreat I wove the theme of LONGINGS into our look at Scripture. Instead of squashing our longings, we want to learn to give them to God to sort and purge. And the ones that remain...I have to believe that they are allowed by Him. Allowed to motivate us. Allowed to cause us to want more. To crave abundant life.

There are a few very tender longings very very close to the surface right now in my life. What does God have in mind? Over them all, I want to be blessed indeed. Life abundant is promised. (John 10:10) Yet the key to understanding, as always, is in the context. 1 Chronicles 4:9 tells us that Jabez was "more honorable." Hmmmmmm. And in John 10:9 Jesus tells us, "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture." That's the pretext to His promise of life abundant.

I wanna find pasture. The peace that passeth understanding. (Phil 4:7) Abundant life. Whew.

Bless Me Indeed

What a whirlwind. It's been a blessed week for sure, but gosh, I'm glad it's the 19th and not the 12th. I'll have to split the week into several blogs, but wanted to check in now and provide a brief overview.

Friday to Sunday, Sept 12-14, 2008: led my first women's retreat. The setting was Camp Timber Lee in East Troy, Wisconsin, a fabulous 700 acre celebration of the beauty of God's creation. Unless it rains. Which it did. Continually. It was still beautiful, but the wet did indeed damper our enjoyment of the outdoors. Still, the retreat was well received, and from the emails I've received, women were blessed. I'll entitle that blog RETREAT.

But even before that I was crazy happy because...drumroll please...the basement AND our bedroom are clean and organized. Yes, 15 swift months after moving here, the last box is unpacked and everything (I meant that - everything) is on a shelf in a sembalnce of order. I have not, ever, in three homes, had this feeling. And I don't think I ever realized how the disorder weighed on me, because this euphoric feeling of peace is quite amazing.

Our bedroom is truly in incredible order. As previously reported the sewing is outta there, but the entertainment center and small bookcase have been taken over by an eclectic stash of favorite books, papers and pens. It is a little piece of heaven. I'm finally settled on what is staying there, what is going to be stored in the small oak desk in the foyer, and what will remain in storage downstairs. This might be a yawner of a paragraph for you, but this is ecstatic to me. (I know...I'm weird) (did you ever notice how wired and wierd are so close in spelling? I'm wired weird...)

The basement still has detail work and sorting to do, but the main plan is in place, and I know where everything is. And it all makes sense. Everything. You gotta love that word.

Somehow, over the month of September, I was just overtaken with energy and the desire for HOME. I went to my job a bit less than usual, and I attacked our home with a vigor. And loved EVERY minute of it. The flower beds look great -- all is pruned with mums and pumpkins in place -- the basement is sorted with NOTHING on the floor (just in case) and our bedroom is a peaceful retreat. I even watched part of BBC's version of Sense and Sensibility recently, able to relax in our room with my feet up and a feeling of accomplished happiness. I have planned a number of scarves, and am well on my way to crocheting one whose pattern is entitled "Bohemian Scarf." It's funky. But I digress...the point is...creativity can be released when our home is in order. It's how I'm made. Order is required. [I'll try not to preach, but I believe since God is a God of order we all thrive in it...]

And, before the retreat, creativity errupted in a new way. I've been writing songs for my guitar and voice based on favorite Scripture passages. It's simply amazing. I wrote another one this morning. We sang a few on retreat, and they caught on...and were enjoyed...and it is SO invigorating for me...I'm amazed... That blog will be SONGWRITING.

By the time I returned my soggy self back home, my oldest brother and his wife were moved into our lower level to stay for three nights to celebrate my father's 83rd birthday. We had a great time, and that blog will detail a highlight: GIB'S REQUEST.

On Wednesday I went out of town for work for two LONG days of schmoozing (golf and dinner...I know, stop whining,...but it really is exhausting work...) and the highlight of the week occured on Thursday morning. I'll entitle that blog THE GIFT.

And here I am on a sunny Friday, bare feet up on a chair, sipping coffee, blogging and reading the Word on our screen porch. Sigh. Bliss.

Right now, this very second, I am blessed to overflowing. All is not perfect, there are some mighty waves and storms in my life still, but for the moment I am choosing to rejoice in the blessings, savor the moments and focus on the best.

Life abundant. Thank you Lord. You have blessed me indeed. (1 Chronicles 4:10)

Heaven

I think that I was so excited about the sign outside this store that I couldn't hold my hand still for the inside shot. That's my story on why that second photo is so blurry...

This little piece of heaven was on the road somewhere between Boulder Colorado and Winter Park Colorado. We stopped for coffee to go, and it's a good thing we were on a tight time schedule because otherwise I might have camped there for a very long time. What an enticing sign...books, coffee and ice cream. And a peek inside just got me salivating. Books from floor to ceiling, and little reading nooks here and there, all aglow with twinkle lights! What a delightful stop.

Monday Morning

Here I am on the couch again. So so spoiled to have another Monday off work. Every once in a while my flex time arrangement does indeed allow for...flex!

So, I'm here in sweats, nestled deep into the leather sofa, staring out into the parkway and watching the branches sway. To my left is Fresh Brewed Life and my Bible, and to my right is a cup of coffee and that crazy good creamer. My journal and retreat notes are on the ottoman by my feet, and my laptop is here on my lap. This has the makings of a very fine morning.

Here's a quote from FBL to ponder today. It is in the chapter entitled "Surrender to God," a chapter about not trying harder or doing more, but just leaning in to the creator.

There is only One who can tell us this: the Lord himself. And He wants to tell us. He has made us to know our reason for being and to be led by it. But it is a secret He will entrust to us only when we ask, and then in His own way and His own time. He will whisper it to us not in the mad rush and fever of our striving and our fierce determination to be someone, but rather when we are content to rest in Him, to put oursleves into His keeping, into His hands. Most delightfully of all, it is a secret He will tell us slowly and sweetly, when we are willing to spend time with Him: time with Him who is beyond all time.

Fresh Brewed Life

So, this coming week end I will fulfill a life goal...

For years I have said, somewhat facetiously, "When I grow up I want to be a retreat speaker." And this coming week end...I'm speaking at my first retreat. My debut. (I won't quit my day job...)

The theme for the week end is Psalm 119:105, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

On Friday night our pastor's wife will do a one hour Old Testament survey, and I'll do a 30 minute intro to who am I and what's my story.

Saturday morning she will do a 45 minute New Testament survey, and I'll have three sessions on Saturday: WHY study the Bible, HOW to study the Bible and LET'S study the Bible (where we'll study a passage together)

So as I'm finalizing my list of *why* study the Bible, I think to myself...I can't imagine life without reading the Bible regularly. How do women hold themselves together without that daily dose of Truth and encouragement? It is truly the glue that holds my fragile self together.

Most of the week end will be based on Psalm 119 , and two words which are often repeated there are "revive" (vs. 25, 37, 40,50,88,93,107, 154, 156,159) and "long" and/or "longing."(vs. 20,40,82,123,131, 174,) As I tried to succinctly express this in words, I remembered my favorite book of all time, "Fresh Brewed Life."

In this book which SO speaks to me (and makes me feel more *normal*), Nicole Johnson wrote an entire chapter entitled, "Listen to your Longings." I'll be reading a lot of it on Saturday morning.

Here's my favorite paragraph of the book: Are longings one big cosmic setup for frustration? Perhaps, if we view them as something to be overcome or eradicated. If we spend more time trying to get them "filled up." But if we lean in close, and put our ears to the chest of our soul and listen to our longings - they can teach us to understand God and ourselves in a way that would not happen if we were permitted to have everything we longed for. It's true, what we don't have shapes us more than what we have. We are like Swiss cheese, and the holes in us are actually supposed to be there. The holes are the places God has reserved in us for Himself! The longings identify our real hunger. A hunger that drives us to Him to be satisfied. If...big if...we listen. (p. 45)

Nicole says it so much more succinctly than I ever could. The longings of our hearts are there to bring us to God. And the psalmist agrees. He craves God's Word out of longing. The word "delight" is also plentiful in Psalm 119, as well as "revive." Why read God's Word? To be REVIVED.

I love that thought. I love that word: REVIVE!

If you're interested in the book, see my side bar, and link to the "Fresh Brewed Life" website.

This book spoke to me unlike anything else I have read, second only to the Bible. Truly. I must have read it just at the right time in life, just at the moment of most need. Reading it was like having coffee with a friend - a very close and intimate friend. It's the only book I own two of -- my copy and a lending copy. I love it THAT much!

"I need truth in stong doses like a great cup of coffee in the morning. I need to hear from God and be changed, every day." (p. x of the introduction)

"When we offer Him the whole-bean essence of ourselves and we submit to be finely ground, it will produce character in us." (p. 12)

Yes, the whole book is full of coffee analogy, and there are facts and recipes sprinkled throughout. It's a delicious read in more ways than one.

I'm going to curl up now, with a good cup of Nescafe Decaf and Coffee Mate Black Cherry Streusel creamer*, and reread this gem of a book. It's a book to read with journal in hand. And colored pencils, highlighters and post-it flags. (My copy is VERY colorful)

May the Lord *revive* you soon through His word as well! Ciao!

* This creamer may be the reason that 600 Starbucks stores are closing...it's THAT good!! Our Starbucks has definitely seen less of me since I discovered it! It is a limited release item....I'm stocking up!

Queen

You'd probably have to know me to realize the ridiculousness of this, but this scene actually just occurred:

Jake, the 12 year old, is in his 3rd year of electric guitar, and he's pretty darn good. He plays all the time. Anyhow, he is learning some Queen songs, just to please his dear old mom and his older brother Joe. (I *loved* Queen in high school...knew every word and would sing along...Joey, our firstborn, could not believe it when he *discovered* Queen and his mom knew all the words! He was about 15...he's 21 now)

So after dinner, Jake picks up my acoustic guitar and says, "Mom...sing along!" And he starts jamming "Crazy Little Thing called Love." And so I sang, and Jake played. Anna took a photo from the foyer and could hardly breathe she was laughing so hard. "this," she said, "is my family..."

Ha. That was an unusual mother/son moment. But I loved it.

No, no world tour date has been set. I'll keep you posted...

Mental Health Morning

I took the morning off. I am desperately in need of a mental health break, and the children are delightfully OUT OF THE HOUSE at school.
Does that sound harsh? I do love my kids, but this return of peace and quiet is so so delicious.
I just need to sit and sigh, journal and putter. I feel better already!

My father spent two sets of three days, a week apart, in the hospital. End stage renal failure. He decided to go ahead with kidney dialysis, and is doing much better. He'll spend most of his Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays getting ready for, transporting to, and having dialysis (3.5 hours each time), but in exchange for that he will feel much better and live to enjoy the other 4 days each week. He'll be 83 two weeks from today. I thought we were going to lose him this last time...he was so so sick...but he is one tough old guy! A retired pastor, he spends his days at a reading machine (diabetes has greatly diminished his eyesight) keeping up with the sports news and reading God's Word. He is such a student, even 60 years after graduating from seminary. God bless him!

Four teenagers have really worn me out -- much for which to be thankful, but emotionally wearing all the same. They are supposed to be spreading their wings -- I keep reminding myself of that -- I just need to keep moving out of the way so I don't get smacked by the feathers. I tried recently to explain to our 15 year old daughter that even though her remarks may not seem like much to her, when you add them to three other kid's remarks, it is too much for a mother's heart. She looked at me like I've finally lost it and rolled her eyes. So much for a tender moment...

Work has been so full. I do work flexible hours, but with a big promotion and raise, it's hard to keep balanced... I want them to get their money's worth, and I want to stay on top of things...and ....well...

And so, my mental health morning. As the old song goes, time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping...into the future... It has been delicious though. I've purposefully not made a list, but have come upon small projects and conquered them, written a few emails, updated my journal, studied Isaiah 24 (read that to know why Global Climate Change is occuring...it's all in His plans), and puttered. I LOVE puttering. At home. Alone.

And to think I'm an extrovert...hmmmmmm...

Somebody's Quilting

Well, the sewing machine has moved again. Recently I came into the family room to discover that our 21 year old had moved the couch forward - closer to the tv- for better gaming. And of course he didn't move it back when he finally went to bed in the early morning.

So...I got to thinking...hmmmm...there's three feet of open space there... my sewing machine and its custom table are now behind the couch. With the screen porch behind (the french doors are usually open) and the tv directly in front of me, I just might...sew! You just never know. In the meantime the sewing machine is swung into its table, and a lovely desktop is here for my laptop. Newfound space. You just gotta love it. I'm blogging and watching the Republican Convention news...I so rarely sit near a TV that this is quite a treat!

Our 19 year old daughter was laid off for the last two weeks of summer, so she started cutting 6 inch squares out of old t-shirts, prom dresses, skirts, and added a lot of squares from her mom's fabric stashes. Within a week she had a twin sized quilt for her dorm bed. She put batting between the pieced top and a large expanse of yellow fleece, and tied it in the corners of each squares...very old fashioned and comfy. She put together a very unconventional mixture of fabric types, polyester batting and polar fleece, but it is eclectic, full of memories and VERY warm.

There's something to be said for *not* planning the colors, the pattern and the placement. For one thing, her quilt is done, and my *planned ones* are ...just well thought plans!

Bird Plantings

The birds have been gardening. I pulled a million starts out of the garden (before I got smart and started baking my bird seed - an hour at 300 degrees and the spilled seed won't sprout!) but I left a couple sunflowers to see how they'd grow. And grow they did! This lovely plant, in the front entry garden, has multiple blooms and is supported by the birdfeeder. The birdfeeder belonged to my mom.