Niece Night

For the second year in a row we invited the six younger nieces over to bake and craft on December 23. An hour ahead I wondered WHY?!? But an hour after I was basking in the sweetness.

Six little girls from age 6 to 12 ... who knew the results. But they were giggling and happy and cooperative and sweet the entire three hours. What a delight. Cousin time.

Emily chose Kiss-mouse decorations (yum) and stringed popcorn for her part of the evening. (Anna was at work.) Aunt Grace chose journaling. If I instill the thought of journaling year by year...perhaps they will pick up on this enriching habit some day...

I purchased Composition Notebooks and some Heat n Bond. They got to pick fabric from the Aunt Grace stash, and then we heat n bonded it to the front of the notebooks. Back upstairs at the dining room table they got to sticker and cut and paste and write. And giggle. Lots of giggles.

I was amazed at how they enjoyed it. No one was bored. They were disappointed to clean up at 9:30. They all promised to bring their journals back next year, and I promised to have new ones and new supplies. Now that I know what a hit this was, I think a little kit will be assembled throughout the year for each of them. [I was hoping to assemble a fun journal kit or two this year, but picked SIX BOY NAMES in the family exchange. Sigh]

There's a lot of hustle and bustle of the season that comes and goes. But investing in people...that gives back more to my heart than the time invested. An evening well spent. An Aunt Grace legacy begun...

merry kiss-mouse

the littlest niece, Sydney

Stringing garland

Journal time!

Thanksgiving photos

Click on the word THANKSGIVING to see photos of our...Thanksgiving!

It's genetic!

Tonight after work I went to St. Luke's to visit my friend. It doesn't seem that she is improving...sad situation with cancer and other complications. (although we all know that GOD is in control - my experience with my dad taught me to never give up on a person's will to live!) Even though I'd rather have stayed home, I felt God's tug. I called another friend to accompany me.

My dad gave me his visitation communion set, pictured below, so I thought I would take communion to my friend. The photo shows the ancient little set with its vial of wine and some oyster crackers. As a little girl I would accompany my father to visit the "shut ins," and I remember him serving them communion with this set.

I searched our bookshelves to find The Common Book of Worship, also pictured. In it are suggested formats for various Christian rites - anything from communion, communion with the sick, marriage, confirmation of elders, etc. etc. Since she was not up to receiving communion this evening, I read to her from the "Visiting the Sick" portion which was simply verses, many Psalms, strung together. It was published in 1947 in the King James Version. I love the poetry of that older English.

While reading one section I thought to myself, "I need to write in the references to all these verses...for my own use..." and then when I turned to Psalm 23 in another section, I could see that my dad had written in all the references on those pages. Great minds think alike! I also saw, as you can see, that my dad wrote all OVER the place. In fact my and Frank's names are one of many sets in the marriage section - he must have used this very book at our ceremony.

What a rich heritage. It's almost overwhelming.

And my propensity to write in all my books? Well, I can't help it! It's obviously genetic.

Aging

Just as I was finishing up the kid's bag lunches at about 9:30 pm my cell phone rang. My mother in law was crying on the other end. "Come quick." My in laws live about 30 seconds away if I run. In our cul de sac, one house away, is a path through the woods to their house on the next block.

My father in law had pretzeled over his walker. He was literally folded in half. And not so coherent. I wrapped my arms under him, but rather than stand he just tipped forward onto me, with his legs folding in the wrong direction. He only weighs about 140 now, but his dead weight was too much for me. I asked my mother in law to call Anna.

Sweet Anna came running over and helped me to fold his feet under as we got him to kneel against his walker. His face smashed against the seat - he did not have the strength to hold it up. I put a pillow under his head, and we called 911. I knew his knees could not take it for long.

Two paramedics got him standing and then sitting. My mother in law was completely out of breath -she had struggled with him for 20 minutes before calling me. She had her third heart catheterization in a month last week. This was just not good.

She said he had taken his sleeping pill in the family room, and then gotten distracted, and then basically fell asleep walking. He is very weak and disoriented even on a good day.

My heart is heavy. I felt helpless. I can't fix anything.

Frank is in Turkey - if he had been here it would have been better. But that is not really a solution either.

I've been down this path before. It seems surreal to be going down it again.

Growing old is not for sissies. Neither is caring for aging parents.

Father's Day

After Frank's aunt's funeral last Saturday we drove 4+ hours north to visit our 20 year old, Emily, at Crescent Lake Bible Camp. She had just finished her first week of campers, having had 11 nine and ten year olds in her cabin. She told us it was an amazing week, and she looked forward to a QUIET evening. All six of us were together, likely the only time this summer, and we did have a great overnight. Pizza out, and then cards and swimming at the hotel.

The next morning we readied for church and off we went. Emily introduced us to her camp friends, as this is the church where they all attend.

Everything was well until the offertory. The piano began a rendition of Faith of our Fathers, the old hymn, and I lost it. I was *almost* sobbing. It had not really occurred to me before then that it was Father's Day. That hymn flooded me with memories, especially of family reunions in Iowa where my dad and his three brothers would sing it.

Emily put her arm around me, moved closer and put her head on my shoulder. It was such a sweet and tender moment. The wave of grief passed quickly, and I dried my eyes and the service went on.

Our Emily Joy is truly an amazement to me. Of all our children, she was the one most difficult to relate to, although never giving us a problem. We just didn't connect. But now, well now she is a comfort and a source of immense satisfaction for me. She is a reward of motherhood.

Twins

On Saturday morning we attended the funeral of my husband's mom's identical twin. 77 years old.

It's hard to know how my mother-in-law feels, as I do not have an identical twin. Imagine the grief of losing someone who has shared in each step of your life since the moment of conception.

At the wake on Friday, I was reading the bouquet ribbons: Beloved Wife, Cherished Mother, Dearest Grandmother...and then the one that turned on my tears: My Twin written in gold on a light pink ribbon, attached to a huge bouquet of summer blooms.

Barbara and Mary talked on the phone every day. Each morning they would compare schedules, and each evening, late, they'd compare days. They'd each do the daily crossword in the paper and then compare answers. They never lived more than 5 miles apart. They had their babies in the same years. They had the same friends...lifetime friends since they grew up here in the Milwaukee area.

Barbara, my mother-in-law, was the last eulogy at the funeral. She traveled up to the podium slowly with her walker, and clearly and succinctly paid tribute to her best friend in the world. There was not a dry eye to be found.

Before closing the casket, before the funeral, she walked up to her sister's body and said, "Well Mary, I guess this is it..." and then broke down.

I simply can't imagine.

Funeral

Gilbert's Funeral plan:

Saturday, April 25, 2009 2 pm
at Redeemer Evangelical Free Church
7735 W. Howard Avenue, Milwaukee

Visitation at the church from 12 noon to 2 pm.

A Moment in the Nursing Home

This video is...bumbling. My sister in law is filming for the first time (ever) on her little digital camera, and we are at my dad's nursing home, in the atrium. The first song doesn't work, and I can't find the chords to the second one...and yet...there is something sweet about this few minutes. (hang tight through that first minute!!)

My brother is 17 years older than I am, and we've become quite close, especially in the past 7 years as my parents have deteriorated and have needed to be moved into progressively more care. My mom is in heaven now, and my dad lives about 5 minutes from our home. There is NOTHING on earth he enjoys more than his children and grandchildren.

Although amateur, this video is precious to me, and will be even more so someday. My brother nuzzling me, our instant harmony, and the smile my dad gives the camera right in the middle.

Sweet, everyday moments.

Miracles

Those of you who don't know me IRL are going to think I'm bragging. Those of you who know me IRL, especially for more than a couple years, are going to know that I simply stand amazed.

Our 19 year old, Emily, the writer of the infamous list, went to TCX last week. There she decided that she really wants to work at a Christian camp for summer 2009 so that she can grow in her faith. (!!!) So she is busy filling out detailed applications.

She just told me, "One of them asked who I considered to be my role model. I wrote a page about how I admire and want to be like my mom."

Do I hear gasps? Oh...maybe those are mine. I am speechless. (I can still type) I asked her for a copy, and she laughed as she said no, but it touches me that she even told me about it. Pocket of Joy. Huge huge pocket of joy. Thank you Lord!

Miracles really do happen. Watch expectantly.

TCX

Our 19 year old daughter headed to Minneapolis today to attend Twin Cities Xperience. I am so excited for her. At the link you can view the schedule, and the speakers, etc.

Four nights, and parts of five days, exposed to 1500 Christian college students and loads of seminars and worship times.

As I recap the highlights of 2008, Emily's growth is high on my list. Our daughter's heart is returning to us, and blooming for her heavenly Father. She is maturing and coming back to her roots. God is faithful.

Pray with me for these 1500 kids, won't you?

Tinkerbell

Our 16 year old was one of the birthday girls at a shared "Sweet 16" party tonight. The party was held at her friend's house, so we supplied the cake and the pizza. Since the theme was Disney Characters, we chose a cake full of Disney Princesses.

Our Anna dressed as Tinkerbell. Imagine my surprise when Anna gave me my list this morning. She asked me to pick up: 1. Cake ( preordered) 2. Pantyhose 3. Wings (!!!) and 4. a gift card for her friend.

Happily, my local Walgreens stocks wings this time of year. Who knew?

Gib's Request

A week ago tonight, Sunday, I was one tired puppy. (come to think of it, I'm slightly exhausted tonight as well...) Returning from two overnights at Camp TimberLee, and an emotionally charged week end retreat, I was ready for a relaxing Monday off. Or so I thought.

Smart me planned dinner at a local pizza place on Sunday night. There were 7 of us including my dad and my brother and his wife. We love Ricardos. Anyhow, silly me at one point asked my dear old dad, "What would you like for your birthday meal tomorrow? I'm off, and will cook whatever you like." Silly silly girl. After thinking for 5 minutes, he perked up and said," I've got it, but it's a lot of work." I said something totally inane like "the sky's the limit," and he answered with, "I'd like a full Thanksgiving dinner."

Gulp.

"Would a turkey breast do?" I asked. "No, I like dark meat." was the no nonsense reply.

A trip to a local upscale grocery ensued, with a search for a fresh turkey in September. Hmmmmm. The butcher showed me a whopping 9 pound fresh turkey breast, so that was the start. I followed him to the pieces and parts department, and we dug and came up with two whopper turkey thighs and two huge fresh drumsticks. I picked up a few other staples, and returned home.

I am the family Thanksgiving dinner preparer, and I've got it down to a science. My sons especially look forward to our annual November feast, and I do go all out with homemade rolls, homemade cranberry relish, 10 pounds of smashed potatoes and a very moist bird stuffed with celery, onion and craisin laden dressing. It is amazing. I cook my turkey, the biggest bird I can find - usually around 25 pounds - in a Reynold's cooking bag, and it is moist and delish.

With a tired chef and one day to plan and cook, I took a few shortcuts. Frozen bread rolls, Ocean Spray cranberry-orange sauce, and rice rather than potatoes. I did make the traditional stuffing, and put it in a glass casserole with the drumsticks laying on top. The breast and thighs went in the bag.

The result was quite excellent. I should have started it an hour sooner -- I was afraid that it would be so overcooked since it was in pieces...but that large dense breast could have used more time. I didn't get enough drippings for the gravy, so I did add some turkey gravy mix to the pan...no one seemed to notice. Jake was a little bummed about the rice in lieu of smashed potatoes... The rolls were great, but not "mine," (my butter rolls are legendary)(at least to my kids. Our 15 year old daughter and 12 year old son once each ate 6 at a dinner where we had guests. I couldn't believe we had run out of rolls...until they fessed up...) The pecan pie out of my freezer (no idea where or when I purchased it...) was good but not a homemade apple...



And so Gib had Thanksgiving in September. I'm not sure he'll make it til November 27, so I sure didn't have the heart to deny him his wishes. My sister-in-law calls me "Amazing Grace," thus I have a reputation to protect...

Life is so full. But would I want it any other way? I'll always remember the incredulous look on my sister-in-law's face when Gib made that request. It is a moment to remember. A memory to cherish.

This photo is of the birthday boy, Gilbert, now 83, with our youngest son, his namesake, Jacob Gilbert.

April 16

Out of town for work, I called our oldest daughter (second child) to go to dinner. My work convention is in the same town as her university.

Tonight was the night I have hoped for and dreamed of and many times thought I’d never see… my oldest daughter and I related as friends. I am teary just typing it.

When she was little I would sing “You are my Sunshine” to her, and she was. But somewhere in her early teens the stormclouds blew in, and in her defense I was so busy with all four of them that we lost connection. We had some rough years, some really bad verbal exchanges, and a few times I thought I had lost her. It's amazing how rough some of those teen age years can be. But tonight we turned a corner.

We got to Outback (her request…she knows that her older brother and I have "Outback Nights" when I visit him at college) and ordered. We started talking about boy X and then Boy Y, and it became obvious that she is not dating at the moment. She lamented “if I don’t meet my husband in college, where will I meet him?” She seemed to be struggling.

She shared that she is so organized and has all these lists…just like me. She asked if we could make a list of what she should look for in a man. I almost fell off my seat. Of course I said yes, and she got out a post it note and began. We went back and forth for the whole meal, choosing the list ingredients after much thought and agreement. She also told me she’d not consider dating someone I disapproved of. That was so amazing. I thanked her. I warned her that when you’re in love your brain falls out, so it was good to set the parameters ahead of time and to write them down.

About half way through I asked her to make me a copy of the list to put in my journal. And she did. I told her I might make it into a power point at her wedding and then rate her groom. (and indeed I will) She laughed but still made me a list, and then signed and dated it.

This is typed exactly as she wrote it…same order, punctuation, etc. [the bracketed explanations are my additions here]


“The List”

• hard worker
• “Christian”
• Communicator
• Tall
• Friends [he should have good friendships]
• Values Family
• Creative thinker
• adores me
• gentleman
• treats everyone nicely [I suggested she watch how he treats waiters in restaurants, does he hold the door for strangers, etc.]
• passionate but not obsessed [has interests, but they don’t run his life]
• makes me laugh!

Speaking as a co author, I’m thinking that’s a pretty good list.

Of course I assured her that she’d meet the right man, there is no rush, she’s 18 and smart and beautiful and the whole world is before her. The world is her oyster.

I fairly floated back to the hotel room. A corner has been turned. A new relationship has begun. A mother's heart is content.