Economic Stimulous Package

WELL...

since we received a check from the government in hopes of stimulating the economy, it seemed unAmerican to not turn around and spend it...

And since my husband and I could use some relationship time, as well as some exercise...

And since we live in an enclosed suburb where everything we need is within two or three miles...

We chose to spend most of our check on a kind of fun item.

Yep, that's a TREK tandem bike (who knew?) with a removable basket, a light, a bell and a tripometer. (my husband, the accountant, of course wants to log in miles and speeds...) We've taken it on a few test runs, and even those have reminded me of muscles long forgotten!

This is more relationally challenging than you might guess, for the person in the back has no brakes, no gears, and no steering. The person in the front has to communicate all intentions of turning, since the person in the back has to lean properly. Even coasting at the same time is a challenge.

This might indeed improve marital trust and communication!

Springtime in Wisconsin.

Hesed

Hosea 6:6 is an old testament summary of what is important to God:

Hosea 6:6 (NASB95) For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, And in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

The word "loyalty" is an interesting translation of Strongs number 2617: Chesed. Hesed. "This aspect of God is one of several important features of His character: truth; faithfulness; mercy; steadfastness; justice; righteousness; goodness." (Complete Word Study Dictionary Old Testament)

Hesed: lovingkindness, mercy, love, and in the New Testament, grace.

I have begun marking this word in all its forms in my Bible. I color it over with a light blue cloud with a yellow outline, the same way that Precepts suggests marking the word "grace." Marking key words in my Bible helps me to concentrate, and it makes the words and the concepts pop off the page.

God's lovingkindness is at the base of who He is. Psalm 136 uses the word 26 times. Read it here and ponder anew what God's lovingkindness entails. Make a list. When you start to dig into it, the list might surprise you!

God delights in lovingkindness and in knowledge of Him. Do our priorities reflect a desire to delight Him?

" Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the God of gods, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. To Him who alone does great wonders, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who made the heavens with skill, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who spread out the earth above the waters, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who made the great lights, For His lovingkindness is everlasting: The sun to rule by day, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, The moon and stars to rule by night, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. To Him who smote the Egyptians in their firstborn, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, And brought Israel out from their midst, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, With a strong hand and an outstretched arm, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. To Him who divided the Red Sea asunder, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, And made Israel pass through the midst of it, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; But He overthrew Pharaoh and his army in the Red Sea, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. To Him who led His people through the wilderness, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who smote great kings, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, And slew mighty kings, For His lovingkindness is everlasting: Sihon, king of the Amorites, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, And Og, king of Bashan, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, And gave their land as a heritage, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, Even a heritage to Israel His servant, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Who remembered us in our low estate, For His lovingkindness is everlasting, And has rescued us from our adversaries, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; Who gives food to all flesh, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the God of heaven, For His lovingkindness is everlasting." (Psalm 136, NASB95)

Mother's Day

Mother's Day brought many emotions as it always does.

My mother has been gone for four years...celebrating in heaven with Rachel, my sister who died at birth, 15 years before I was born. My mother was a very difficult person, haunted by her own childhood and also mental illness, so even when she was alive Mother's Day was difficult.

Frank's mother lives less than a block away, along with his father. She is a saint of a mother, and highly revered by her five children. Unfortunately, her idea of Mother's Day is to find a restaurant that will hold all 28 of us and sit in long rows for a buffet. She is the reigning matriarch, and I begrudge her nothing...it's her day. However, I really dislike the cattle like feeling of Mother's Day at a buffet. Yesterday I found a niece, Allison, age 9, to buddy with, and so that was fun. There are 16 grand children, ten of which are 9 and under. It's a bit of a zoo.

Joey, our oldest, had two final exams yesterday. There's something unamerican about an institution having finals on Mother's Day. I did awake to a "beep" on my Blackberry at 1 am Sunday with a Happy Mother's Day message from him. And he called after his exams, hoping we'd come and take him to dinner. We opted not to spend the 3 hours round trip in the car at that point. We'll visit him soon.

Emily, first daughter, had sent a card earlier in the week. She is very creative, and made the card with scrapbooking papers, sequins, and pudgy paint pens. I could imagine her and her buddies having a craft day. That so warms my heart because it is so...like me! :) Emily also called mid afternoon which was a lovely treat.

Jake, my baby (and always will be, though he's 5'6" at age 12) proudly presented me with a Starbucks gift card inscribed to me. That's my boy!

Anna, age 15, did nothing. I wrote in my journal in the afternoon that while that was disappointing, honestly, it is what is to be expected from age 15. Normal is good.

Frank and I had ventured to Home Depot's garden center on Saturday, and there I picked out a gerbera daisy in orange...potted with some grasses. The picture is above. For now it is on our kitchen table, but it will make the transition to outdoors for the summer. Gerbera daisies are the epitome of "happy" flower to me...they simply make me smile. I've never had much luck keeping them alive though. But...try, try, try again. Frank's gift of flowers (flowers are always a winner for me!) was supplemented by two cards on my pillow on Sunday morning, one being from a dog's perspective, from Boomer. That made me laugh.

And so Mother's Day was.

Once home from the herding buffet, the day was my own. I chose to spread out with laptop and Bible study, getting my lesson for the week organized while blogging and reading blogs. Purely delightful. Also enjoyed the Sunday Times. We shared a frozen pizza well into the evening -- we were all still full from the buffet.

At midnight I snuck into our room, and as I lay down my head encountered a book on my pillow. The night light revealed a small journal. Instant tears. This small book had been passed between Anna and I for a few years, starting when she was 7. There are maybe 2 dozen entries total...half hers and half mine. The last post had been June 19, 2003. That is until Anna added 3 pages yesterday: May 11, 2008.

I have no idea where she found it. So many keepsakes are still boxed from our move. I read the old entries...and wept. What a treasure. And then I read the three pages from yesterday.

Three pages from a 15 year old's heart. She apologized for a few hurts. She asked for my prayers. She related her excitement of prom this coming Friday. She thanked me. And then she wrote this:

Thank you again for everything. You a great mom. (sic) And even though sometimes I forget for selfish reasons, I want you to know that I wouldn't choose anyone other than you to be there for me. I'm sorry for all the times I have caused you pain (I know there has been a lot) and I'm sorry for all the times I may hurt you again (hopefully far less). I love you mom and happy mother's day. Love ya! Anna. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox Oh! And here's a coupon for a cup of coffee and a girls outing on me! Use it wisely. :P

Well, let me tell you that this mother's heart drifted off to sleep quite contentedly. Beyond that. We have four children, age 12 to 20, and even in these difficult tween and teen years I am blessed to have open communication and good relations with each of them. What more could a mother's day hold?

The New York Times

For the second week in a row I've picked up the Sunday NY Times. Truth be known I get it for the crossword puzzle, but it's actually quite interesting to peruse.

"Book Review" is a great section, even if just to see the lists of Best Sellers and read short synopses of recent releases. I was surprised to see Friday Night Knitting Club as the number four paperback in "Trade Fiction." (don't know what "trade fiction" designates...) Loving Frank is number 9. In my humble opinion there is no comparison in the writing of these two books...Frank being one of the most beautifully written books I've ever read.

One review really irritates me. In fact the book title irritates me: The Ten-Year Nap. The premise appears to be that now that main character Amy has a ten year old, and since she has given up her career to stay home for ten years, she is at loose ends. The review describes the book as asking the question "...what is the proper role for a postindustrial, post second-wave-of-feminism woman at midlife?"

Hmmmm. The main character is 41 -- is there not plenty of time left for career? (she's a lawyer!) The child is ten -- does he not still need a lot of care and direction? And GOOD GRIEF...raising this son is described as a "nap?" That is so offensive that I'm blogging about a book I'll never read! A woman, Penelope Green, wrote the book. Does she have children? A nap? As in life is on hold while I rest up for ten years? A nap?!?!

Ok...whew...I'll move on...

I enjoyed receiving my NYTimes today: at the drive through window at Starbucks. Ha. It doesn't get lazier than that. Did you know the Sunday Times is 5 bucks? You better believe I'll look through ALL the sections...

Some *might* suggest that I have a purse obsession, (which actually would make a great blog post some day), but my bag investment looks like small potatoes when compared with those featured in the "The New York Times Magazine." (the same section that contains the Sunday crossword) The Dior bag in "Style" comes in at $8,990. whew. And I thought I was splurging on Coach...

The "Travel" section highlights Morocco today, a destination as likely for me as the Dior store...

"Sunday Styles" points us to a blog on "Mad Pride," "A movement about mental illness in the style of gay pride." Hmmmm. Is that not an offensive comparison? Hmmmm. "Just as gay-rights activists reclaimed the word queer as a badge of honor rather than a slur, these advocates proudly call themselves mad; they say their conditions do not preclude them from productive lives." Queer is a badge of honor? Who knew? "A Bonkersfest in London ...drew 3,000 participants." Wow. Just when I think I've heard it all...

Obama is featured on the front page, as well as in "Week in Review," with both sections featuring photos of him and him alone on the front cover. Hmmmmm.

So anyhow, you'll likely begin to notice that I'm becoming *much* more cultured and knowledgeable as I read the Sunday Times.

Actually, I really just like the crossword puzzle...

Loving Frank

Loving Frank by Nancy Horan

It is hard to overstate how compelling this book was for me to read. Loving Frank appealed to me on many levels, fascinated me, and shredded me. As it ends I am mourning.

The architectural accounts are moving. To read of Frank Lloyd Wright’s creativity, his drive, his ambition, and his consuming passions was to taste his genius. My appetite is whetted. I want to drive to Oak Park and to Taliesin to study his buildings, and also read his autobiography. His character and his work fascinate me though prior to the read I knew relatively little about the man.

The love story is nothing short of riveting. This affair was not about physical passion, but about soul mate love. Each had a love that pushed the other to greatness; a love where each became interested in that which fascinated the beloved. In this love each of the participants flourished, yet the story relates raw pain and gut wrenching truth as it reveals the collision of two passionate souls. It is not a romanticized tale: the fall out of their extramarital affair is great.

Mamah’s translations of feminist writings give voice to women’s issues. While I see flaws in the thinking, the flaws of that day’s society are also evident. When Mamah discovered the writings, as well as her own voice, her character grew. The translation work seemingly saved her from very dark days. It tore into my mother’s heart to read that her affair and her writing left two small children to find their own way. Her tender motherhood combined with her seemingly impossible situation brings both compassion and outrage. Part of me rejects her choices, and part of me understands.

The love of nature is a theme which resonates throughout the story. The details and the vivid accounts are breathtakingly beautiful.

The book details a love which breaks promises to both God and man. Yet it moves not to condemnation, but rather to compassion. It relates the story of the human condition. The affair takes Mamah quite by surprise – sweeps over her, and it’s as if her life can never be the same after meeting him. Life is changed. Her choices leave much about which to debate.

This is not a book for the faint hearted. It is well written, passionate, compelling and tragic. That this is the author’s first novel is astonishing. I read it with pencil in hand, underlining phrases and lines that gave me pause. I will go back to savor these words.

Finishing this book is like the end of a relationship. I miss Mamah. I miss their great love and synchronous genius. I miss reading of how the children are faring. I miss the fields, the fireplace, the house built into the rock. The story is gripping and haunting, and not soon to be forgotten. I am changed.

still kickin'

Such a long time between postings. April was simply a whirlwind.

Work took me in many directions, most notably my first visit to Ohio: Cleveland and Cincinnati. Other April Wisconsin destinations included Lacrosse, Madison, Tomah, Hudson, and last night Pewaukee overnight. Today I am putting my suitcase back under the bed where it belongs!

In the beginning of this blog I promised to look for "Pockets of Joy," and recently there have been many overflowing pockets. Although there are some major challenges in my life, God is liberally sprinkling blessing. I'm enjoying searching out those blessed moments.

In Cincinnati I was absolutely spent as I checked into the Hilton for a three day conference. I wearily asked the desk clerk if any upgrades were available. Due to my husband's frequent travel, we are Gold Honors members, and so I was upgraded. On the sixteenth floor I found myself in a double sized suite down the hall from the Belvidere Club...an exclusive club for Gold Honors members and higher. The room was dreamy, with a comfy club chair and ottoman, spacious desk area, two queen beds in fluffy cloud linens and an extra deep soaking tub. The Belvidere club was well stocked with fruit, coffee, soda, water bottles, hors d'eouvres and our own continental breakfasts. This club kitchenette was surrounded on two sides with a balcony and outdoor seating, and the club also had a business room complete with computers and printers plus a large lounge area with flat screen TVs, couches and chairs. I didn't know these clubs existed in hotel chains...whew was I spoiled. Since my room was just down the hall, I found myself going at all times day and night to refill my coffee and grab some fruit. What a treat.

I have blogged before about the delight this mom of four finds in a hotel room alone. To have a deluxe huge room was amazing. As I studied at my desk, I journaled many verses of thanksgiving, feeling pampered and spoiled by the King himself...it was a very personal feeling. I needed some balm, and the alone time and the spoiling was perfect. It was hard to check out of that room, even after three nights.

Last night I was only an hour from home, but a late night networking reception followed by early morning meetings afforded me a room. The only room left at my reservation time was the "Governor's Suite." WHEW. This hotel room had a HALLWAY. The bathroom was the size of a normal hotel room, anchored by a two person pedestal whirlpool bathtub in the center. A walk in shower filled a corner, and an enclosed commode took another. The other side was a wall of mirrors with a long marble double vanity. I could live in that bathroom. The living room and dining room (yes you read that right) were separated from the giant bedroom containing reading nook and king sized bed.

Once I checked in I began to doubt the necessity of that late night networking session... ha. Back in the room at midnight I filled that monster tub and soaked until I could no longer stay above water. (I did not, by the way, use the remote mounted next to the tub to turn on the flat screen TV on the wall in front of the tub. GOOD GRIEF! )

After I showered to wash my hair this morning, I took another hot swirling bath...I just couldn't help myself.

And so, yes, I've been quite spoiled in the month of April. But in spite of it all there is no place like home. Home is where I intend to spend the month of May, staying put to tidy up, garden, putter, study and blog. May will contain pockets of joy as well...right here at home.